Once upon a time there was a reasonably unhappy 28 year old who developed an all encompassing fixation on Titanic. Let's digress to the backstory on this, mmk? (Bear with me, it's a longish one!)
I am a HUGE Titanic freak. It started way back when I was around 7 or so and Lady Marjory from Upstairs Downstairs died on the Titanic. The story caught my imagination. I have been to Titanic Society exhibits, own pretty much all the books on it, and have seen A Night To Remember just about a gazillion times.
Being a Titanic factual snob, I was distressed to find out James "The Terminator" Cameron was making a movie about my ship! I actually refused to see it when it very first came out. I do believe it had been out for a month before I finally saw it. And I saw it alone, for reasons I frankly can't remember.
I was hooked. I mean, HOOKED. I saw that movie 22 times on my own in the theater.
Obviously something was missing in my life. Was it Romance, Love, Attention?
Oh no, it was nothing so innocent...
I came across several women on a Titanic Fan Site (which I won't link cause the owner was a dickhead and gets no free publicity from me) and aside from loving the movie, shedding tears at the death scene - yada yada yada - we all had one thing in common.
Leonardo DiCaprio and his bones. Specifically, we wanted to jump them.
Apparently, we got a wee bit vocal and descriptive about this desire. We ended up getting kicked off (!!!!) the forum for our "lewdness." Who knew so many would get so offended by a few harmless Hoover Vacuum remarks? (Fine it was a Hoover WetVac but really, that is just splitting hairs.)
I ended up creating a website for us Lewd Ladies. We had message boards, chat rooms, and our banner, a photoshoped picture of Leo and what may have been a horse member. We referred to this artifact as the Cucumelon. (Do you really want to ask why? I didn't think so.) Our battle cry was "Fellow Cradle Robbing Degenerates, Unite!"
So in honor of my FCRDU girls - Camy, Melvira, Lisa, Julie, Selenia- and all the rest of you, I present this weeks Thursday Thirteen.
Thirteen Cradles I'd Love To Rob.
1. The First, The Original, The DiCaprio (1974) If anything, Leo is getting better looking. Kinda like Brad Pitt. Less Pretty, More Hot.
2. The Personal Favorite, Stuart Townsend (1972) Where to begin on Stuart. He's gorgeous. He's Irish - Accent? Yes please! Cherry on top - he is a Sagittarius. I love Sag's.
3. Jake Gyllenhall (1980) Even if he was totally whacked out in Donnie Darko and totally NOT pitching for my team in Brokeback, he is way cute.
4. Heath Ledger (1979) Picture my 7 year old asking me to watch Knights Tale, over and over....such hard work being a mommy!
5. Jonathan Rhys-Meyers (1977) You could ski off those cheekbones. Really you could.
6. Ewan McGregor (1971) Ewan and his naughty bits have come a long way since Velvet Goldmine. I can even forgive him that Star Wars debacle.
7. Paul Bettany (1971) Knights Tale, part deux. He was awful in Gangster # 1 and he was still hot. And Wimbledon? Service!
8. Cillian Murphy (1976) I like the Irish, what can I say?
9. Jude Law (1972) Gorgeous. Yes I know the whole dumpy nannygate thing was a bit taudry. But taudry can be fun ;)
10. Edward Furlong (1977) Detroit Rock City is NOT a great movie. Yet I own it...hrm. Edward has had some issues (That Crow movie?!?!?!)but according to my latest People mag he has cleaned up his act and is doing great. Which is good to hear. Edward you can look like the Bad Boy cutie without actually having to BE one!
11. John Mayer (1977) Oh my lord, do I lust after Young Mister Mayer. The fact that he can play the hell out of a guitar is bonus points.
12. Ami James (1972 Tattoo you, indeed. Talk about poster child for Bad Boys. Plus he is a great Tat artist. Pluses are always good.
13 Orlando Bloom (1977) But not Pirates Orlando. I want LOTR Orlando. WITH the ears. I have a thing for druidy types. Sue me :p
I am older than every guy on that list, although with some of them it's a close one. Stay tuned for next weeks TT when I list out who could rob MY cradle.
That's right, Johnny Depp. I am talkin to you!
**Update** Matthew McConaughey is younger than me! Fine, by like 10 months but hey, that is still cradlesque right? So bonus Man in Matthew. He can play naked bongos in my RV any day of the week.
29 comments:
True story. I return from summer break to prep school my senior year. I decide to go to the gym and play some hoops. I walk into the lower locker room to take the stairs by the pool, like I had done for the past two years. I look up and find that I an staring at girls changing their clothes. I had wandered into the (new) girls locker room.
I said that because I just experienced the same feeling reading your T13! I can't wait to see next weeks.
Thanks for visiting my Thursday Thirteen #22 Hat Tip Edition
LOL... Many of the people that frequent THE COUCH were met by our appreciation of taylor hicks...there was a group of women sho got in trouble for their remarks about this fine singer (who BTW is writing a song with your Mr. Mayer)
Great List... hummm I am 53... so I could not make that list... LOLOL maybe next weeks! LOL
Thanks for stopping by, Dane. Glad I could help you relive those old school year memories! The idea that men hold the lock on locker room comments? Totally wrong ;)
Bond - Taylor and Mayer?! GREAT combo. I loved Taylor. And my hat is off to the ladies who got in trouble!
I wouldn't so much be robbing the cradle with these guys, but mmmmmmm they are great looking! Happy T13 :)
That's a great list. We don't realize how many great actors there are out there until they've been put on a list. But mamamia, they are gorgeous too!
I started working on that list last week and I really for real meant to link to pictures but then I got lazy :P
Can I jump into this cradle too? Ewan... mmmm.....
The cradle is open!
Ok, as a guy, I can't really relate, but hey, I totally understand the sentiment. You've obviously given this great thought too.
I think you and my sister would get along great, only her list would be Keith Urban, thirteen times. Kinda boring to me, but not to her.
Jam - I can totally relate to your sister's boring list. I have already been informed by my daughter that next weeks list of older guys can not consist of Johnny Depp thirteen times over.
Dunno why, I'd take 13 Johnny Depps any day of the week!
You know...I pretty much agree with your list...except so many of them aren't that much younger than me so it made me feel old. :( Plus, I think that Demi Moore and Cameron Diaz altered the benchmark for "robbing the cradle". lol
You are dead on about Orlando though...I'd totally make him be Legolas in the boudoir. purrrrr!
Those early 70's guys are not that much younger than me. But hey, younger is younger, am I right? And yes Cam and Demi did set the benchmark on this a bit higher. But I get some props, the Ex (bf variety) was almost 5 years younger!
And BLESS YOU for the Legolas comment. I thought for sure I'd be the only freaky elf ear fetish girl out there.
Oh I love your list. I have a few on my list of guys who can rob my cradle. I can't wait to see your list next week.
Thanks for stopping by my site!
"Lewd Ladies." That's pretty funny.
Next week's list should be interesting.
Jebus! Everyone thinks next weeks will be "interesting."
Which is interesting and puts the pressure on! Guess I can't just list Johnny 13 times =(
Looking forward to next week's list. Didn't have enough space to write about those whose cradles I'd like to rob...
It's different though when guys say stuff like that.
Ummmmm... I'd like to rob a few of those cradles too.. LOL
Thanks for stopping by! Happy TT!
Wow, what an awesome list. I'd ... uhhh... actually like to be your friend after seeing that. The Cucu-WHAT?
LOVE IT!!!
Happy TT and come visit us at West of Mars. I have a feeling you'd fit right in!
Seriously, Susan, it is a long (pun intended) story. I can't even remember which of us came up with it, but I do know for damn sure that beer was involved.
Have you watched "Grey's Anatomy" lately? There is a Leonardo lookalike you might find lustworthy. He plays a doctor on the show.
An interesting psych review on why you like "Titanic"- in my 20's I went through a "Harold and Maude" phase where I watched the movie endlessly, to my roommate's disgust. Gee, wonder what that said about me???
Oh yes, McSteamy! He is married to Rebecca Gaylord from Dead Like Me.
All younger and um.. yes..
Orlando and the ears.. good god!
Now in the Older category.. Viggo.. my oh my! Have a feeling I'm going to enjoy next weeks list. I have a thing for older men.. wait.. I have a thing for younger men too... I have thing for men.. there.
You know...I wouldn't kick Orlando out of the bedroom if he showed up sans elf gear though. He just may very well be the sexiest elf ever though. And that voice...prrrrr. ::fans self::
yummy yummy boys!
Thanks for stopping by.
Hehehehehehe!
Anndi cracked me up :P
Methinks you would make a most welcome addition to the THUD division of the Soul Patrol.
As Orlando Bloom is my age, I'd take him anyday.
I can relate to owning bad movies because of who is in them - I'm an Eliza Dushku fanatic and let's face it... she hasn't been in that many movies that could be considered good, lol.
/whispers
I like Bring It On - I know, sick eh?
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