Hey Natalie, Act Your Age, Mama, Not Your Shoe Size

Grammy stiffed Kanye again for Album of the Year. Again. For Herbie Fucking Hancock. No offence to Herbie but come ON. On the scale of pop cultural impact do we REALLY think Herbie had a bigger impact? Cause we all know that is really what the Grammy awards are about. The songs that resonated and offer up our annual zeitgeist. You have got to be kidding me.

Kanye's song for his mother made me and kidlet cry. Kidlet is also overjoyed that the real Beatles won. She does not have much love for Evan Rachel Wood due to the whole screeching scene in the video for Wake Me Up When September Ends. Can't say I blame her, it was annoying.

At least Amy Winehouse won big and delivered on her performance. Hopefully she is getting her shit together cause that girl is amazing. She looked stunned when she won Song and Record. I sure hope she gets it together.

On the subject of Amy, I must say, Natalie Cole has earned herself fucking bitter douchebag of the year award. And I quote:

“I'm going on record as an artist who is able to critique [Amy Winehouse]. I think she has a great talent, but I don't agree with the Grammy's giving her those nods. I think it sends the wrong message, that even in the midst of her stupor of drugs she can get nominated for all these awards. It's a slap in the face to musicians and artists who work very hard that they turn around and give it to someone who really obviously doesn't have a grasp of what she has. I've been in this business over 25 years and I sacrificed five years of my own life on drugs and almost lost my life because of it. So I take great offense to almost see someone getting glory out of being in the position that they're in – she needs to get her life together and embrace her craft, she will lose it if she doesn't get it together.”

- Natalie Cole

Yeah Natalie? What have you done lately? What's that? Shamelessly whored out your DAD'S hits in a sad bid to get your 1991 and 1996 Grammys? Written anything ORIGINAL lately Natalie? No? Still swingin on your dead daddy's jock? Yeah? Then shut the fuck up you low class ho. Guess we should all deliver a big old fuck you to Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Eric Clapton, and BILLIE FREAKING HOLIDAY as well too? How bout Ray Charles? Eh Natalie, you sanctimonious and bitter twat? Pissy cause when YOU were cracked out you didn't have enough talent to deliver? That Grammy for those unforgettable sloppy seconds indicate you can't bring it sober either. Waaaah.

Now then, having scraped the spoogewad that is Natalie Cole off my shoes, we move on. Sorry folks but that really pissed me off. Twat.

Does Prince age? Or is he frozen in time circa 1985 and just beams his image forward?

And The Time! Hell yes, I LOVE The Time. "Jerome, get me my mirror!"

Chili Sauce!

Tina Turner is a force of fucking nature. End of story. 68 years old and she still owns Proud Mary. And far more classy than Natalie Cole. Not that it would take much. Tina and Beyonce should tour. That would be fun to see.

Went back to work today and man that was a bitch. Still coughing my butt off and I can not take that cough syrup at work. I'll end up just sitting there staring a paperclip. It was tough though, I kept standing up to fast and getting way dizzy. Off to make tea and scronge for some sort of dessert.

Oh ROCH-ester!

Light em if you got em, today I join Jack Benny in the 39 club. Or as Matt put it the anniversary of my slide down the birth canal. Yeah.

Today I turn 39 folks. And I am gonna stay 39 like Jack Benny until I callously dump 39 in favor of 49. Like Madonna ;)

Still home sick which is typical I generally have horrid birthdays. Some of you may remember last year when Harley the cat tried to croak on me on my birthday. So coughing and still feeling like crap is par for the course. BUT....

I get steak and corn on the cob and cauliflower and Skordalia which is a thick garlic dip that is the win on steak. You end up with garlic breath that could drop a horse a twenty paces but hey, who cares?! A poppy seed cake and ice cream and presents round out the evening. Then kidlet and I will be home to watch tv and chill and then tomorrow I am taking care of Gramps after I take her back to her dads. We swapped days so I could have her for my birthday. And thank you all for the birthday wishes and shout outs and a special thanks to The Couch for my absinthe and lei filled birthday party. The masks were a good call and add that Warhol touch! Oh and for sending zee funny French card. Zoot Alors!

Turn Your Head And Cough - TT #38

In honor of this shiteous cold/strep that has assaulted kidlet and I I'm bringing you 13 things we HATE about being ill.

1. You sleep like crap and no matter how much you sleep you don't feel rested. (Kidlet)

2. This frickin cough. (Starr)

3. You can't laugh without hacking up a lung. (Kidlet)

4. Cause of the frickin cough. (Starr)

5. Food tastes bleh. Except my soup. (Starr)

6. Our Albuterol inhaler (the thing that works best for the frickin' cough) stings like battery acid. (Kidlet)

7. The way cough syrup tastes - like ass. (Starr)

8. You can't sleep breathing through your mouth (due to the hellacious sore throat), but the nose is also stuffed as well. (Kidlet)

9. Have I mentioned the frickin cough? (Starr)

10. The sore nose from blowing it constantly. (Both of us. We look like Rudolph)

11. My mother nagging me to drink more water causing me to get up more in the night than an old man with a prostate problem. (Kidlet)

12. Not having the energy to goose rude children who type things like #11. (Starr)

13. Going Stir Crazy. Help! Help! Let us out of this nutshell! (The Typhoid Twins)

Over and out!

I Thought You Were Special - WW #45

If I Strep For You Will You Strep For Me?

It's official. Kidlet has strep throat. I tested negative for strep but my doc thinks that is not likely to last. She thinks I have a nasty bronchitis or maybe walking pneumonia. Have a 100+ temp and I feel like I have two bags of wet sand instead of lungs.

Either way both kidlet and I are on antibiotics and I am on a lovely codeine cough syrup cause I am coughing so hard it nearly makes me puke. We are both home tomorrow and I am keeping her tonight so we don't infect her dad and his girlfriend. If that happens we are all just going to keep swapping this crap around.

It was a LONG afternoon though. Took off at 1pm and got home at 6:30. I stopped off at the store and bought some leeks, potatoes and some good white Irish cheddar cheese and a loaf of french bread. Making a nice thick soup to have the next couple of days. No beer though cause no one wants to add yeast to a system on antibiotics. That and some Toll House cookies. The cheater kind that you just put on the pan and have at it cause I am not stupid enough to try to be all Betty Crocker when I am this sick.

Just had the soup and it was D-VINE. Now we are going to lay on the couch and relax. Side note, this cough syrup is obviously not the same codeine kind they give kids cause it has me highly stoned. And I don't get stoned all that easy.

Ooohh...look at the pretty colors!