Just a few tunes for you today that I am enjoying courtesy of Last FM.
Townes Van Zandt - Dead Flowers (Kicks The Stones Asses in my opinion)
Ryan Adams - Oh My Sweet Carolina (Ryan is apparently leaving the music business which depresses the living shit out of me as I never got to see him live)
Lyle Lovett - If I Had A Boat (I frickin LOVE Lyle, and I don't care what the haters say, he is awesome)
Dave Matthews Band - Crash Into Me (One of these Labor Days I will make it to the Gorge)
Blues Travler - Sweet Pain (This and Crystal Flame are by far my favorite BT songs. Long live the Jam Bands)
The Black Crowes - The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down (One of the best versions I have heard outside of The Band and Cash. Nice work.)
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
United States of Tara
Ok Showtime is officially the best frickin tv on tv. Their new series United States of Tara is awesome. Snappy dialogue, funny characters and Toni Collette whom I totally adore. I am telling you, The Tudors, Weeds, Dexter, Californication, Diary of a Call Girl, and now Tara. Showtime OWNS.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
God Damn You Ben Stiller
You made me like Tom Cruise. Fuck you.
Tom Cruise and Robert Downey Jr made that movie. The Les Grossman Dance and this fake movie trailer caused me internal injuires.
Tom Cruise and Robert Downey Jr made that movie. The Les Grossman Dance and this fake movie trailer caused me internal injuires.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
So I Can Get Non Mimi Baked Cookies
FINALLY! The Mimi Meme! Can I have my cookies now, Mimi? This was a bitch! Plus it was obviously written by teens. Poorly educated and likely stupid teens.
When was the last time you splurged on a gift for yourself? Um, I don't usually buy for myself. I actually begged for a nano for my birthday from my parents. Kind woman that she is, my mom is going to get me one. Takes the sting out of 40 you know. I guess I'd say the 2 cd's I bought about about a month ago.
Have you ever bought yourself a gift for Christmas, Valentines Day, a birthday or any other occasion and then wrapped it up and pretended it was from someone else? What am I, a fucking psycho? I did buy my Christmas present "from" my husband once. Romantic, no?
Have you ever sent yourself flowers, chocolates or anything else to your place of employment so it seemed as if someone else were sending you a gift? No and if I did I would be the world's largest douchebag.
How often do you text message? As rarely as possible. When I do it is either to Kidlet or her dad.
Is there someone you'd like to fix things with? Anyone who says no to this question is so lying. I don't know that I would change much, but I would like to maybe explain some things.
Are there any previous relationships you wish could have lasted longer? LOL. See above. And yes. But only if they continued under different circumstances.
When do you blow out the candles? Feb 8th. Or before I go to bed. Death by fire, not so cool.
Do you give out second chances too easily? Second, third, fourth, thirty second....
What's the next big life decision you will have to make? The one I know would be where to move when Kidlet graduates. I have no idea what life may throw at me in the mean time.
If you could cuddle with anyone right now, who would you pick, and why? Rob Pattinson, James McAvoy or Ewan McGregor.
Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? Do I care? Not really. Grow up oh writers of this meme.
Who was the last person to REALLY piss you off? REALLY piss me off as opposed to just pissing me off? I don't know probably one of my ex's. I don't tend to hold onto it and really ponder past pissed offedness offenses. Life is too damn short.
Would you ever want to be a supermodel? Sign me up to swap with Kristy Turlington. Then I could be gorgeous AND close friends with U2.
Your motivation for tomorrow? What does this mean? Why do I plan to get out of bed? What is the meaning of life? What's it all about, Alfie? How bout, cause getting out of bed means you are alive and that beats the heck out of dead. Lord, that is a dumb question.
Do you know what you will wear tomorrow? Hell no. I fail at being a girl. Seriously.
What is the last thing you put your lips against? My Betty Boop coffee cup. I need a refill too.
Have you ever gone two or more days without changing your underwear? OH. MY. GOD. Skeevy whore, much?!!
Have you ever accidentally eaten an insect? Everyone has. The real question is why we are thinking about it.
What serial killer do you find most disturbing? All serial killers are disturbing. But I admit to a life long fascination with Jack the Ripper.
What was the last thing you used your debit card for? Um, grocery shopping at Winco.
Are you cheating on your significant other right now? I don't have an SO. Whoo hoo!!
Are you contemplating cheating on your SO right now? Ya know I think the writers of this meme were looking for some sort of validation for being skeevy whores.
When was the last time you sat down and watched kiddie cartoons? Last weekend. Scooby Dooby Doo!
Do you sleep with one leg out from under the covers? Not that I know of.
Do you have any text messages that you would be embarrassed to let your mother read? Nope.
How old do you think you will finally be when you have kids/more kids? If I have any more kids, my HMO is going to have some explaining to do.
Have you ever thought about converting to a new religion? No. I am not down with organized religion. I believe in God. I believe in Jesus. And I believe people who talk about religion rather than living a good life are full of shit.
When was the last time you went to church? See above. Last time I was in church was my grandfather's funeral in Feb of last year. I actually loved going to church when the service was in Latin and Greek. I still like the English services up to and until the Sunday let me talk at you chat. Again, less talk more action.
Do you know anyone with the same first name as you? I have a cousin with the same name. There are also a few actresses with my name or nickname. It's a pretty uncommon name so there are not a lot of us out there.
What song plays on your myspace profile? None. MySpace is used to keep up with bands I like, artists I like and Kidlet.
Do you know anyone who smokes pot? Everyone knows someone who smokes pot.
What were you doing the last time you were in the bathroom? Cleaning the sink.
Have you ever had a Razr as a phone? Motorola Razr? Yes I have a Miami Ink one. The black with the Dragon tattoo Ami James. Kidlet has his pink Cherry Blossom one.
Which energy drink is better, Amp or Rockstar? Gross. I drink an occasional sugar free Red Bull but that is it.
Would you rather eat a Milky Way or Twix? This is not a nice question. Cause those two are my favorite candy bars. So either.
Do you like that new shoe smell? Oh HELLS yes.
Do you like the taste of licorice? Yup. I ADORE Red Vines and I love black licorice as well.
Would you ever walk around with a free hugs sign like the dude on youtube? Really? No...Really?? Attention whore much?
Did you ever flip out on a teacher and walk out of a class? Actually, yes. 6th grade Mr. Harris. He liked to kid around and make statements about being "Pretty good for a girl." He was joking of course, well mostly, but I am not the child of 60's hippie radicals for naught. I organized a day where all the girls showed up in jeans, t shirts and baseball hats and told him if he said it one more time we would walk out in protest. Sure enough, he did. We also stood up and out we walked. We made it to the street before he finally apologized enough for us to go back. I got him a stuffed pig at the end of the year. He remains one of my favorite teachers to this day.
Do you/did you ever have dreams of being a rockstar? Nope. Groupie? Oh yeah ;)
If vegetarians think its wrong to eat living things, why do they eat plants? Oh don't be mean. They are all wifty and shit from that lack of protein. Mmm....steak =0
When was the last time you splurged on a gift for yourself? Um, I don't usually buy for myself. I actually begged for a nano for my birthday from my parents. Kind woman that she is, my mom is going to get me one. Takes the sting out of 40 you know. I guess I'd say the 2 cd's I bought about about a month ago.
Have you ever bought yourself a gift for Christmas, Valentines Day, a birthday or any other occasion and then wrapped it up and pretended it was from someone else? What am I, a fucking psycho? I did buy my Christmas present "from" my husband once. Romantic, no?
Have you ever sent yourself flowers, chocolates or anything else to your place of employment so it seemed as if someone else were sending you a gift? No and if I did I would be the world's largest douchebag.
How often do you text message? As rarely as possible. When I do it is either to Kidlet or her dad.
Is there someone you'd like to fix things with? Anyone who says no to this question is so lying. I don't know that I would change much, but I would like to maybe explain some things.
Are there any previous relationships you wish could have lasted longer? LOL. See above. And yes. But only if they continued under different circumstances.
When do you blow out the candles? Feb 8th. Or before I go to bed. Death by fire, not so cool.
Do you give out second chances too easily? Second, third, fourth, thirty second....
What's the next big life decision you will have to make? The one I know would be where to move when Kidlet graduates. I have no idea what life may throw at me in the mean time.
If you could cuddle with anyone right now, who would you pick, and why? Rob Pattinson, James McAvoy or Ewan McGregor.
Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? Do I care? Not really. Grow up oh writers of this meme.
Who was the last person to REALLY piss you off? REALLY piss me off as opposed to just pissing me off? I don't know probably one of my ex's. I don't tend to hold onto it and really ponder past pissed offedness offenses. Life is too damn short.
Would you ever want to be a supermodel? Sign me up to swap with Kristy Turlington. Then I could be gorgeous AND close friends with U2.
Your motivation for tomorrow? What does this mean? Why do I plan to get out of bed? What is the meaning of life? What's it all about, Alfie? How bout, cause getting out of bed means you are alive and that beats the heck out of dead. Lord, that is a dumb question.
Do you know what you will wear tomorrow? Hell no. I fail at being a girl. Seriously.
What is the last thing you put your lips against? My Betty Boop coffee cup. I need a refill too.
Have you ever gone two or more days without changing your underwear? OH. MY. GOD. Skeevy whore, much?!!
Have you ever accidentally eaten an insect? Everyone has. The real question is why we are thinking about it.
What serial killer do you find most disturbing? All serial killers are disturbing. But I admit to a life long fascination with Jack the Ripper.
What was the last thing you used your debit card for? Um, grocery shopping at Winco.
Are you cheating on your significant other right now? I don't have an SO. Whoo hoo!!
Are you contemplating cheating on your SO right now? Ya know I think the writers of this meme were looking for some sort of validation for being skeevy whores.
When was the last time you sat down and watched kiddie cartoons? Last weekend. Scooby Dooby Doo!
Do you sleep with one leg out from under the covers? Not that I know of.
Do you have any text messages that you would be embarrassed to let your mother read? Nope.
How old do you think you will finally be when you have kids/more kids? If I have any more kids, my HMO is going to have some explaining to do.
Have you ever thought about converting to a new religion? No. I am not down with organized religion. I believe in God. I believe in Jesus. And I believe people who talk about religion rather than living a good life are full of shit.
When was the last time you went to church? See above. Last time I was in church was my grandfather's funeral in Feb of last year. I actually loved going to church when the service was in Latin and Greek. I still like the English services up to and until the Sunday let me talk at you chat. Again, less talk more action.
Do you know anyone with the same first name as you? I have a cousin with the same name. There are also a few actresses with my name or nickname. It's a pretty uncommon name so there are not a lot of us out there.
What song plays on your myspace profile? None. MySpace is used to keep up with bands I like, artists I like and Kidlet.
Do you know anyone who smokes pot? Everyone knows someone who smokes pot.
What were you doing the last time you were in the bathroom? Cleaning the sink.
Have you ever had a Razr as a phone? Motorola Razr? Yes I have a Miami Ink one. The black with the Dragon tattoo Ami James. Kidlet has his pink Cherry Blossom one.
Which energy drink is better, Amp or Rockstar? Gross. I drink an occasional sugar free Red Bull but that is it.
Would you rather eat a Milky Way or Twix? This is not a nice question. Cause those two are my favorite candy bars. So either.
Do you like that new shoe smell? Oh HELLS yes.
Do you like the taste of licorice? Yup. I ADORE Red Vines and I love black licorice as well.
Would you ever walk around with a free hugs sign like the dude on youtube? Really? No...Really?? Attention whore much?
Did you ever flip out on a teacher and walk out of a class? Actually, yes. 6th grade Mr. Harris. He liked to kid around and make statements about being "Pretty good for a girl." He was joking of course, well mostly, but I am not the child of 60's hippie radicals for naught. I organized a day where all the girls showed up in jeans, t shirts and baseball hats and told him if he said it one more time we would walk out in protest. Sure enough, he did. We also stood up and out we walked. We made it to the street before he finally apologized enough for us to go back. I got him a stuffed pig at the end of the year. He remains one of my favorite teachers to this day.
Do you/did you ever have dreams of being a rockstar? Nope. Groupie? Oh yeah ;)
If vegetarians think its wrong to eat living things, why do they eat plants? Oh don't be mean. They are all wifty and shit from that lack of protein. Mmm....steak =0
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
I'm Amazed At Your Wrong Devotion
Yes I live. Had doctor crap Friday, worked Saturday in lieu of my doctor day, spent Saturday night hanging with Dad while mom is out of town and got Kidlet extra early Sunday as her dad had a nasty migraine. So I barely turned on my computer =)
A real post either tomorrow or tomorrow night. In the mean time I leave you this song. Very funky. Very roots rock. Definitely Southern Fried. My Mornging Jacket with I'm Amazed.
A real post either tomorrow or tomorrow night. In the mean time I leave you this song. Very funky. Very roots rock. Definitely Southern Fried. My Mornging Jacket with I'm Amazed.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
To Bear The Weight And Push Into The Sky
Check out my
personality profile!
A very interesting test along the lines of the Meyer Briggs. Apparently my boss is going to send a couple of us to have a full Meyer Briggs work up. I know what I am. In the 12+ years that these tests have been online I have ALWAYS scored INFP. The I part throws a lot of folks who know me because I am a natural born entertainer and I am usually "on" if you know what I mean. The simple truth is very few if any people really get inside my head. Hell sometimes *I* don't get the inside of my head and I am me.
I'd love it if you all took the test and shared what you are. I have a theory that several of us are I -which stands for introvert versus E for extrovert by the way - even thought we post our thoughts on what has to be the biggest and brightest billboard out there. So if you have 20 minutes take it and gimme a holler. Pretty please! Plus it's interesting to read these types of things about yourself. It always makes me go "hmmmmmmmmmm."
INFP's or the Idealist/Healer subset as described by the Keirsey. It's pretty much me to a T and always has been. Bond, I found it fascinating,in light of our convo today, to read it. It pretty much sums me up.
I find it interesting that roughly 40% of people remain true to their outcomes with repeat testing over time. *Edit to add by over time I am talking 9 months!* I am not sure if this is an inherent flaw in the test or merely and indicator of how totally lacking in self awareness the vast majority of people are.
I'd lean to the latter, frankly.
More random shiz. It's been sunny here! Cold as a well diggers ass, but sunny. Ann windy. My parents live surrounded by huge pine trees. Last Sunday night it literally sounded like the Oregon coast at high tide outside their house. Kinda spooky.
I am liking the new Fox series Lie To Me. Gabriel Byrne is the shiz though so I am not too surprised. Their promos and the pilot episode used two songs I loves by two artists I love.
Aqualung - Easier to Lie (Love this boy)
And of course the one and only Mozz Father, Morrissey with Glamorous Glue. How do I love thee, Stephen Patrick? Let me count the ways....
personality profile!
A very interesting test along the lines of the Meyer Briggs. Apparently my boss is going to send a couple of us to have a full Meyer Briggs work up. I know what I am. In the 12+ years that these tests have been online I have ALWAYS scored INFP. The I part throws a lot of folks who know me because I am a natural born entertainer and I am usually "on" if you know what I mean. The simple truth is very few if any people really get inside my head. Hell sometimes *I* don't get the inside of my head and I am me.
I'd love it if you all took the test and shared what you are. I have a theory that several of us are I -which stands for introvert versus E for extrovert by the way - even thought we post our thoughts on what has to be the biggest and brightest billboard out there. So if you have 20 minutes take it and gimme a holler. Pretty please! Plus it's interesting to read these types of things about yourself. It always makes me go "hmmmmmmmmmm."
INFP's or the Idealist/Healer subset as described by the Keirsey. It's pretty much me to a T and always has been. Bond, I found it fascinating,in light of our convo today, to read it. It pretty much sums me up.
I find it interesting that roughly 40% of people remain true to their outcomes with repeat testing over time. *Edit to add by over time I am talking 9 months!* I am not sure if this is an inherent flaw in the test or merely and indicator of how totally lacking in self awareness the vast majority of people are.
I'd lean to the latter, frankly.
More random shiz. It's been sunny here! Cold as a well diggers ass, but sunny. Ann windy. My parents live surrounded by huge pine trees. Last Sunday night it literally sounded like the Oregon coast at high tide outside their house. Kinda spooky.
I am liking the new Fox series Lie To Me. Gabriel Byrne is the shiz though so I am not too surprised. Their promos and the pilot episode used two songs I loves by two artists I love.
Aqualung - Easier to Lie (Love this boy)
And of course the one and only Mozz Father, Morrissey with Glamorous Glue. How do I love thee, Stephen Patrick? Let me count the ways....
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Wordless Wednesday 73 - Life Is Like A Song
Nice Choice for first dance, Mr. President =)
Political affiliations aside, all Americans should be proud we made it this far.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Well The Clock Says It's Time To Close Now
Just cause these are superbly funky songs. Love Morrison. Love these songs. And for that matter, LOVE William Blake. Trust me those topics do go together, Morrison does not get the cred for the whole doors of perception thing.
So, I was home yesterday with a friggin headache which seems inclined to hang on. Kidlet had a sleepover Friday night with two of her friends here. Good kids they had a blast and we just dandy to have around. She had an eventful week last week what with her former friends spreading numerous rumors about her and one of them threatening to beat her up. Of course, Kidlet is a chip off the old block from both myself AND her dad. You just don't pull that shit on us. It pisses us off. Kidlet got right up in her grill and told her to do it. Little miss pussed out with her bluff called. But that combined with the pulling of the plug on my overtime made last week a FUCKING SUCKY ONE.
I feel better now, thanks for allowing me to vent.
Here's the deal with The Doors. I grew up with The Doors. I was down with Jim and his roadside Indian Shaman Drama and his daddy issues when I was 10. If you have not read Nobody Here Gets Out Alive you really should. So really, The Doors are one of those musical memories that go all the friggin way back. They also will forever and always remind me of certain people. Just like The Dead and Pink Floyd.
True story....saw the Oliver Stone movie The Doors with my 1st husband J, my almost but not quite T, T's girlfriend M, my second husband aka Kidlet's dad, and some waitress chick -E- that T was sleeping with at the same time. Try to keep track of that. Oh and husband 1 and I were seperated. But T and Baby Daddy were living with husband #1 AFTER I had moved out. Got that?
So there we are all the ladies in the ladies room. E and I both know that T is sleeping with BOTH of us. M - his potato head 30 Something watching girlfriend did NOT.
Awkward!
Oh and just cause I like to keep my life all Springer like....Ex husband #1 is now MARRIED to T's potato head girlfriend, while I, of course, married T's cousin.
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
I gotta get the fuck out of this state. Shit clings like moss on trees up here I swear to God.
PS - Morrison is not dead, he's living in Nome, Alaska =)
So, I was home yesterday with a friggin headache which seems inclined to hang on. Kidlet had a sleepover Friday night with two of her friends here. Good kids they had a blast and we just dandy to have around. She had an eventful week last week what with her former friends spreading numerous rumors about her and one of them threatening to beat her up. Of course, Kidlet is a chip off the old block from both myself AND her dad. You just don't pull that shit on us. It pisses us off. Kidlet got right up in her grill and told her to do it. Little miss pussed out with her bluff called. But that combined with the pulling of the plug on my overtime made last week a FUCKING SUCKY ONE.
I feel better now, thanks for allowing me to vent.
Here's the deal with The Doors. I grew up with The Doors. I was down with Jim and his roadside Indian Shaman Drama and his daddy issues when I was 10. If you have not read Nobody Here Gets Out Alive you really should. So really, The Doors are one of those musical memories that go all the friggin way back. They also will forever and always remind me of certain people. Just like The Dead and Pink Floyd.
True story....saw the Oliver Stone movie The Doors with my 1st husband J, my almost but not quite T, T's girlfriend M, my second husband aka Kidlet's dad, and some waitress chick -E- that T was sleeping with at the same time. Try to keep track of that. Oh and husband 1 and I were seperated. But T and Baby Daddy were living with husband #1 AFTER I had moved out. Got that?
So there we are all the ladies in the ladies room. E and I both know that T is sleeping with BOTH of us. M - his potato head 30 Something watching girlfriend did NOT.
Awkward!
Oh and just cause I like to keep my life all Springer like....Ex husband #1 is now MARRIED to T's potato head girlfriend, while I, of course, married T's cousin.
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
I gotta get the fuck out of this state. Shit clings like moss on trees up here I swear to God.
PS - Morrison is not dead, he's living in Nome, Alaska =)
Monday, January 19, 2009
Welcome To Your Life, There's No Turning Back
Welcome back folks, we have reached the finally the last stop on our Euro tour and the place de jour was Athens by way of Oracle.
You want to talk about feeling the weight of history, you should try an oracle dedicated to a Greek Goddess. Add to that the sense of homecoming in returning to the Old World as it were. It was like walking into the novel The Magus.
Plus they have these really awesome caves that have sand floors. Not just regular sand but that super fine super soft white sand. And it was like natural air conditioning cause lemme tell you Greece is freakin hot. Another bonus? They are pretty much off the beaten track so to speak and the only other critters in the cave besides HFB and myself were these trippy fucking pink and green caterpillars. So I suppose that was a close to choose your girl choose your critter as I got ;)
We rolled into Athens that night and I have to say, my people live in a gorgeous place. Greece is lovely. The Parthenon is something that I just can't put into words. If Rome was overwhelming, Athens was only slightly less so in that it was too familiar to me having Grown Up Greek as it were. Which made it more fun, it was like coming home.
We spent the evening on the roof watching the Light and Sound show at the Acropolis, eating peaches and drinking a surprisingly good Greek white wine. The show is pretty amazing and it was a great night. We all chilled and talked and once again dragged our mattresses out onto our balconies.
The following day we toured the Acropolis, which was undergoing restorations. After the tour we hit the beach where we hung out under umbrellas. They have these carts like the hotdog and ice cream carts we have here only they sell oysters and beer.
HFB and I went a sailing as well. Athens is gorgeous but people if you ever get to Greece, hit the islands. Santorini and Mykonos. They are truly postcards come to life.
Our final day in Greece we spent shopping in the flea markets and spent the night in the square eating grilled shrimp and saganaki. We fed the shrimp heads to the stray cats in the square. And I got the most surprising offer from HFB. It was in fact a marriage proposal! Ever the practical (yet hot) Florida Boy he even pointed out that should I tire of him I could divorce him in 3 years after he inherited and then I'd be rich and single at 19. There was some serious logic in that, but of course as we all know I persisted in being ever more logical and said no.
For the record both my mother and daughter routinely call me "Idiot!" when I relate that story. So yeah yeah, shut it ladies :P
We flew home out of Athens amid armed Greeks with uzi's and German Shepards as we left literally a week or so after the TWA Athens highjacking. Most of my readers will remember that. I did talk to HFB every year on our birthday for several years after that. It's odd we both married and divorced right around the same time. Kinda karmic I suppose =)
And that, ladies and gents, is the story of my 6 weeks spent in Europe circa 1985. Easily one of the best times of my life. I leave you with our final song choice that we sang. It's the one that for me will always best capture the feeling of that trip.
You want to talk about feeling the weight of history, you should try an oracle dedicated to a Greek Goddess. Add to that the sense of homecoming in returning to the Old World as it were. It was like walking into the novel The Magus.
Plus they have these really awesome caves that have sand floors. Not just regular sand but that super fine super soft white sand. And it was like natural air conditioning cause lemme tell you Greece is freakin hot. Another bonus? They are pretty much off the beaten track so to speak and the only other critters in the cave besides HFB and myself were these trippy fucking pink and green caterpillars. So I suppose that was a close to choose your girl choose your critter as I got ;)
We rolled into Athens that night and I have to say, my people live in a gorgeous place. Greece is lovely. The Parthenon is something that I just can't put into words. If Rome was overwhelming, Athens was only slightly less so in that it was too familiar to me having Grown Up Greek as it were. Which made it more fun, it was like coming home.
We spent the evening on the roof watching the Light and Sound show at the Acropolis, eating peaches and drinking a surprisingly good Greek white wine. The show is pretty amazing and it was a great night. We all chilled and talked and once again dragged our mattresses out onto our balconies.
The following day we toured the Acropolis, which was undergoing restorations. After the tour we hit the beach where we hung out under umbrellas. They have these carts like the hotdog and ice cream carts we have here only they sell oysters and beer.
HFB and I went a sailing as well. Athens is gorgeous but people if you ever get to Greece, hit the islands. Santorini and Mykonos. They are truly postcards come to life.
Our final day in Greece we spent shopping in the flea markets and spent the night in the square eating grilled shrimp and saganaki. We fed the shrimp heads to the stray cats in the square. And I got the most surprising offer from HFB. It was in fact a marriage proposal! Ever the practical (yet hot) Florida Boy he even pointed out that should I tire of him I could divorce him in 3 years after he inherited and then I'd be rich and single at 19. There was some serious logic in that, but of course as we all know I persisted in being ever more logical and said no.
For the record both my mother and daughter routinely call me "Idiot!" when I relate that story. So yeah yeah, shut it ladies :P
We flew home out of Athens amid armed Greeks with uzi's and German Shepards as we left literally a week or so after the TWA Athens highjacking. Most of my readers will remember that. I did talk to HFB every year on our birthday for several years after that. It's odd we both married and divorced right around the same time. Kinda karmic I suppose =)
And that, ladies and gents, is the story of my 6 weeks spent in Europe circa 1985. Easily one of the best times of my life. I leave you with our final song choice that we sang. It's the one that for me will always best capture the feeling of that trip.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Is It The Red Wire Or The Blue Wire?
HOLY SHIT!
Who knew Twilight FanFic could have a redemptive quaility other than being an guilty pleasure?! This kid is AWESOME. Thanks to Jandco for highlighting this artist. And he is damn near local. And Vinny, he is one of your people.
Rocky Votolato
Who knew Twilight FanFic could have a redemptive quaility other than being an guilty pleasure?! This kid is AWESOME. Thanks to Jandco for highlighting this artist. And he is damn near local. And Vinny, he is one of your people.
Rocky Votolato
Thursday, January 15, 2009
You're A Heart Attack Just The Kind I Like
It has been two drama filled days, work is not making me happy and I have a headache that won't quit. I can't do just to Europe in my current "fuck it all" mindset. Look for the wrap up post on the weekend. In the mean time a bit of music. All three from New Radicals and the album Maybe You've Been Brainwashed Too. I want this album for my birthday. Gonna drop a broad hint to the familia. Damn strong album.
Mother We Just Can't Get Enough
You Get What You Give - a nod to the Kidlet...go ahead see if you can push me before I pull the trigger ;)
Someday We'll Know
Mother We Just Can't Get Enough
You Get What You Give - a nod to the Kidlet...go ahead see if you can push me before I pull the trigger ;)
Someday We'll Know
Just For Barb!
yeah yeah...it has been a bad two days. Kidlet school drama. Greece post tomorrow. For now, my theme song just for Barb =)
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
All The Worlds Indeed A Stage And We Are Merely Players
....In a John Hughes Movie! Welcome back to another day another country and Starr's Eurotrash Girl Vacation. We get all PG-13 today which should thrill those in the peanut gallery who have been questioning my purity thus far.
*raises eyebrows*
Really, this is Starr we are talking about. Did y'all think I'd go and lose my virginity someplace as mundane as a hotel room? Where's the future blog post in that?!
There isn't one.
So let's roll back the time machine and head to Italy again in 1985. After our lovely interlude with the Fruit Loops and Mafia we were all feeling a might bit subdued. To put it mildly. We were down two chaperones, and the only two who actually gave a shit I might add, and 3 of our Hot Florida Boys. That last part pissed off the female population to NO end. Including one particularly clingy freshman with John fixation. She was like a friggin cocklebur. Tres Annoying. Not that there was anything of interest going on yet. Mr.. HFB was annoyingly good like that. Seriously! I was obviously going to have to be a slut and throw myself at him.
But not that morning as we rolled out of Rome. We were all a might bummed and we were heading to Pompeii.
Not really what you would call a spirit lifting destination. Fascinating. Very very sad. Not as bad as Dachau though. Dachau was a horribly intense place to go. But seeing those people frozen in ash was decidedly creepy in an existentialist "what is the meaning of life?" way.
After Pompeii we hit the seaport town of Brindisi. Here we bid a fond farewell *snort* to our Porcine Hans the Bus Drive. And Don Fucking Ho with the quickness with which said Hans committed hit and run. For the record he hit 3 cars during our stay. Never stopped for one. Nada.
Our boat was so not a carnival cruise. Although I would bet that a fair amount of the crew had done it in the ear before ala Iggy Pop. And I say that cause they looked a bit unkempt, NOT because they were Greeks. But they were. And we are a kinky bunch.
It was a quick trip, just over night until we hit Patras, Greece. And the Southern manners were back in effect. And apparently this meant minding my virtue. Seriously not a single move had been made on me. It was starting to frustrate me just a wee bit and I was having none of that.
We all had dinner and then HFB and I decamped to the deck of the boat to chill and listen to Rush. I had my game plan. I figured I was a girl, he was a guy, and guys never say no, right? Toss in a few Aegean beers and my dimples and more than few strongly dropped hints and I finally coerced his polite ass into a lifeboat. Pretty much by force.
No really. I pretty much pushed his chair over into one. Cause I was a hussy like that ya know :P
Best part? emerging from under a tarp in said life boat to a round of applause from 10 drunk Greek sailors. I did what any girl would do at moment like that.
I curtsied and yelled Opa!
They clapped even more and sent us down a six pack of beer.
We got into Patras the next morning and checked into our hotel and it was really nice! BIG huge rooms with balcony and a gorgeous sea view. It was a free day. We hit the beach and went parasailing. Which was a blast and scary as shit. We wandered around the town and at dinner we all headed out to local taverna.
Once there I let the locals know I was Greek and we promptly got the GOOD Metaxas. And then I proceeded initiate the Ouzo virgins and then put them under the table. Good times, people.
Tomorrow we wrap up Greece with a desecration of an ancient Greek monument, pink caterpillars and a surprising question.
Take us home, Geddy!
*raises eyebrows*
Really, this is Starr we are talking about. Did y'all think I'd go and lose my virginity someplace as mundane as a hotel room? Where's the future blog post in that?!
There isn't one.
So let's roll back the time machine and head to Italy again in 1985. After our lovely interlude with the Fruit Loops and Mafia we were all feeling a might bit subdued. To put it mildly. We were down two chaperones, and the only two who actually gave a shit I might add, and 3 of our Hot Florida Boys. That last part pissed off the female population to NO end. Including one particularly clingy freshman with John fixation. She was like a friggin cocklebur. Tres Annoying. Not that there was anything of interest going on yet. Mr.. HFB was annoyingly good like that. Seriously! I was obviously going to have to be a slut and throw myself at him.
But not that morning as we rolled out of Rome. We were all a might bummed and we were heading to Pompeii.
Not really what you would call a spirit lifting destination. Fascinating. Very very sad. Not as bad as Dachau though. Dachau was a horribly intense place to go. But seeing those people frozen in ash was decidedly creepy in an existentialist "what is the meaning of life?" way.
After Pompeii we hit the seaport town of Brindisi. Here we bid a fond farewell *snort* to our Porcine Hans the Bus Drive. And Don Fucking Ho with the quickness with which said Hans committed hit and run. For the record he hit 3 cars during our stay. Never stopped for one. Nada.
Our boat was so not a carnival cruise. Although I would bet that a fair amount of the crew had done it in the ear before ala Iggy Pop. And I say that cause they looked a bit unkempt, NOT because they were Greeks. But they were. And we are a kinky bunch.
It was a quick trip, just over night until we hit Patras, Greece. And the Southern manners were back in effect. And apparently this meant minding my virtue. Seriously not a single move had been made on me. It was starting to frustrate me just a wee bit and I was having none of that.
We all had dinner and then HFB and I decamped to the deck of the boat to chill and listen to Rush. I had my game plan. I figured I was a girl, he was a guy, and guys never say no, right? Toss in a few Aegean beers and my dimples and more than few strongly dropped hints and I finally coerced his polite ass into a lifeboat. Pretty much by force.
No really. I pretty much pushed his chair over into one. Cause I was a hussy like that ya know :P
Best part? emerging from under a tarp in said life boat to a round of applause from 10 drunk Greek sailors. I did what any girl would do at moment like that.
I curtsied and yelled Opa!
They clapped even more and sent us down a six pack of beer.
We got into Patras the next morning and checked into our hotel and it was really nice! BIG huge rooms with balcony and a gorgeous sea view. It was a free day. We hit the beach and went parasailing. Which was a blast and scary as shit. We wandered around the town and at dinner we all headed out to local taverna.
Once there I let the locals know I was Greek and we promptly got the GOOD Metaxas. And then I proceeded initiate the Ouzo virgins and then put them under the table. Good times, people.
Tomorrow we wrap up Greece with a desecration of an ancient Greek monument, pink caterpillars and a surprising question.
Take us home, Geddy!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Your Show Is Pre-empted By My Headache
Took Kidlet to the library last night and got home with the start of a killer headache. So no post, 1 day. So says the Soup Nazi.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Cause I Got A Peaceful Easy Feeling
Watch your steps as you reboard the Starr's Eurotrash Tour Bus. I speak from experience when I say those steps can be a bitch. Need to Catch Up? Go ahead, I'll wait.
/pours glass of wine
/wonders just how many details she should let out
/figures the number of glasses of wine will decide that
Back? Excellent.
So now ya know the dirty little Karaoke secret in Starr's closet. Well...most of them. You keep quiet, RWA. I will get to the later ones at a later date.
So we made it on the bus after leaving Alice's Wonderland. Han's must have been in just as bad a shape as all of us. Guess what the Flying Dutchman did? Took a back alley that was FAR too narrow for a Mercedes Tour bus. Took the door clean off some little Euro car. And no, he did not stop. The trip was beginning to take on a decidedly outlaw air to it.
Ooooo..............foreshadowing!
Ahem.
We all pretty much crashed on the bus. HFB and I both woke up just outside of Rome. Like most of Europe, you could feel history in Rome. It's hard to describe unless you have been some place that has over a millennium of history to it. As a history fiend, it was one of the most amazing things about the entire trip.
Our Rome hotel was one of the nicest of our entire trip. Right outside our hotel was a flower vendor. HFB decided to show off his Southern Charm by buying out the entire stand. For moi. It's the dimples.
My room looked like a jungle. The other girls were oh just a bit jealous. I was ooh...just a bit blown away. Spent the remainder of the evening on the balcony drinking beer and listening to the Best of the Eagles.
There is a TON to see in Rome. I mean more than you can possibly imagine. The Coliseum of course which as you can see above is kinda hard to miss. I loved Trevi Fountain. It was just beautiful. And the mist felt wonderful.
Of course the Sistine Chapel. Here is the the deal with the Sistine. Most of what you see in pictures is an up close detail shot of one portion of it. That in no way does it justice or gives you the feeling you get standing there. I saw a great deal of art in Europe. Nothing touches this. Michelangelo was a genius. His blues. Just ...wow.
Do you know that it is possible to get a historical hangover? Yes it is. Spending that much time in Vatican City and Rome was making my head spin and making me feel very very small. Kinda like when you stare at the ocean. HFB and I decamped after dinner for the balcony. It was freakin hot man. HOT. We all dragged our mattress outside to the balconies. There were about 10 of us chilling out when we got the news .
Apparently 3 of the Hot Florida Boys had been arrested by Rome cops with an assist from the Swiss Guard.
You don't fuck with the Mossad, Chuck Norris, or The Swiss Guard. I know they look like Fruit Loops but they are bad ass. And all kinds of spooky. It's like you fuck up and they are going to show up at your door with The Illuminati, The Templar's, and Tom Hanks. Who needs that?!
So we had 3 Hot Florida Boys in jail - which was a fucking cave I might add - the Pastor and His Wife were there, the American Consulate was involved. My HFB and grabbed his one remaining non incarcerated fellow Floridian and headed to the jail. We all stayed up waiting to find out the details. No one had a clue what had went down.
John got back late at night and told us that the 3 boys were being deported and the Pastor and his wife were heading home with them. Their crime? Popping the Alfa Romeo medallions off of cars in the Vatican City limits.
Let me repeat folks. Do NOT fuck with the Italians. It's no coincident that they came up with the Mafia. Your people are spooky, Bond!
Let's chill out with the Eagles now. Tomorrow we hit Pompeii, Brindis, a tanker ship, Rush, and Lifeboats =)
/pours glass of wine
/wonders just how many details she should let out
/figures the number of glasses of wine will decide that
Back? Excellent.
So now ya know the dirty little Karaoke secret in Starr's closet. Well...most of them. You keep quiet, RWA. I will get to the later ones at a later date.
So we made it on the bus after leaving Alice's Wonderland. Han's must have been in just as bad a shape as all of us. Guess what the Flying Dutchman did? Took a back alley that was FAR too narrow for a Mercedes Tour bus. Took the door clean off some little Euro car. And no, he did not stop. The trip was beginning to take on a decidedly outlaw air to it.
Ooooo..............foreshadowing!
Ahem.
We all pretty much crashed on the bus. HFB and I both woke up just outside of Rome. Like most of Europe, you could feel history in Rome. It's hard to describe unless you have been some place that has over a millennium of history to it. As a history fiend, it was one of the most amazing things about the entire trip.
Our Rome hotel was one of the nicest of our entire trip. Right outside our hotel was a flower vendor. HFB decided to show off his Southern Charm by buying out the entire stand. For moi. It's the dimples.
My room looked like a jungle. The other girls were oh just a bit jealous. I was ooh...just a bit blown away. Spent the remainder of the evening on the balcony drinking beer and listening to the Best of the Eagles.
There is a TON to see in Rome. I mean more than you can possibly imagine. The Coliseum of course which as you can see above is kinda hard to miss. I loved Trevi Fountain. It was just beautiful. And the mist felt wonderful.
Of course the Sistine Chapel. Here is the the deal with the Sistine. Most of what you see in pictures is an up close detail shot of one portion of it. That in no way does it justice or gives you the feeling you get standing there. I saw a great deal of art in Europe. Nothing touches this. Michelangelo was a genius. His blues. Just ...wow.
Do you know that it is possible to get a historical hangover? Yes it is. Spending that much time in Vatican City and Rome was making my head spin and making me feel very very small. Kinda like when you stare at the ocean. HFB and I decamped after dinner for the balcony. It was freakin hot man. HOT. We all dragged our mattress outside to the balconies. There were about 10 of us chilling out when we got the news .
Apparently 3 of the Hot Florida Boys had been arrested by Rome cops with an assist from the Swiss Guard.
You don't fuck with the Mossad, Chuck Norris, or The Swiss Guard. I know they look like Fruit Loops but they are bad ass. And all kinds of spooky. It's like you fuck up and they are going to show up at your door with The Illuminati, The Templar's, and Tom Hanks. Who needs that?!
So we had 3 Hot Florida Boys in jail - which was a fucking cave I might add - the Pastor and His Wife were there, the American Consulate was involved. My HFB and grabbed his one remaining non incarcerated fellow Floridian and headed to the jail. We all stayed up waiting to find out the details. No one had a clue what had went down.
John got back late at night and told us that the 3 boys were being deported and the Pastor and his wife were heading home with them. Their crime? Popping the Alfa Romeo medallions off of cars in the Vatican City limits.
Let me repeat folks. Do NOT fuck with the Italians. It's no coincident that they came up with the Mafia. Your people are spooky, Bond!
Let's chill out with the Eagles now. Tomorrow we hit Pompeii, Brindis, a tanker ship, Rush, and Lifeboats =)
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Friday, January 09, 2009
Psyche!
Yeah so no Euro Trash post today. Seeing as how I have 4 comments (you slackers) I guess you all have some catching up to do, eh?
Seriously, looong day and I just got home with Kidlet at 9:30. I am SO not up to creating a Roman Holiday for you folks. So look for Rome and Greece on Monday and Tuesday of next week. Mimi - I got your meme on tap for Saturday!
To tide you over I leave you with a video from Kidlet's Most Favorite Drop The Fucking Album Already People - Green Day. It plays into my Rome adventure. It's prophetic, yo.
Seriously, looong day and I just got home with Kidlet at 9:30. I am SO not up to creating a Roman Holiday for you folks. So look for Rome and Greece on Monday and Tuesday of next week. Mimi - I got your meme on tap for Saturday!
To tide you over I leave you with a video from Kidlet's Most Favorite Drop The Fucking Album Already People - Green Day. It plays into my Rome adventure. It's prophetic, yo.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
I'm A Cool Rockin Daddy In The USA
So, who has used my stellar lines to get laid? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Lemme guess, saving it up Friday night, right?
So where were we? On a bus to Florence!
And Starr had a new seat mate. Ooh La La! Wait that's French and we are in Italy. Whatever. Florence is of course in Tuscany. Everything you have ever heard about the beauty of Tuscany didn't come close to doing it justice. It even diverted me from The Hot Florida Boy.
We rolled on into Florence late afternoon and our hotel was located in the old part of Florence by the Piazza Della Signoria. We checked in and then spent the evening outdoors in the Piazza while the sun set.
About 10 of us had dinner at an outdoor cafe right by the famous statue of Neptune. This would become a tradition of sorts. The tour costs included a continental breakfast, we were on our own for lunch, and dinner was usually something ...interesting. Like Mystery Meat. So a group of us started a night tradition of going to some outdoor cafe every night after our EF sanctioned feedbag torture was over. Oh I should mention, the reason you don't hear about our chaperones much is cause those adults were bigger boozers than we were!
I, of course, was being wined and dined by Hot Florida Boy. Our bus ride into Florence had proved interesting. Turns out we have the same birthday. Not only that, we were born at the exact same time. We had birth certificates to prove it. Of course Hot Florida Boy and a is 2 years older than me so I was informed that I had to ride "shotgun" on the date. Cause he was an Aquariansmartass like that. Honestly though we both found the birthday coincident to be pretty freaky. We spent the day talking music and books.
John - aka HFB - was a huge Rush fan. I was NOT a huge Rush fan. I know some of you are going, "Huh?! But Starr didn't you go see Rush in Concert just last summer?!?!" and you would be right. See the Boyfriend J and the "Friend" T were both HUGE Rush Fans. But the first Rush song I ever heard was The Trees. I fucking hate that song. I STILL hate that song. And those two knew it and so that is what they always played.
So I refused to listen to Rush. John, however, told me I was fucked in the head (those Southern manners I talked about earlier evidently not present during this convo) and that I would love Rush if I would just get off my high horse. Yeah he said that. And lived. Did I mention he was gorgeous? And gave me Gummy Bears? (Freaky! VH1 Classic is playing Tom Sawyer as I type!)
And, well, yeah......I loved Rush. Moving Pictures makes me grin to this day.
Our first full day in Florence we of course spent visiting all the must see monuments. And that afternoon us girls got to go worship to OUR Gods. The Gods of Shopping!
And I think the ladies will agree with me that highest in that echelon is
Shoes, and purses, and hats OH MY!
That night after a group spaghetti feast at the same outdoor cafe, we headed out for a night on the town at a local disco. Interesting thing about Italy. There were a TON of cops/soldiers around. It was kinda freaky. Remember this detail. It comes back to haunt us in Rome.
The disco was the coolest freaking dance club I have ever been to in my life on any continent. It had 2 floors, the second being primarily a balcony setting. And the decor? Alice In Wonderland! Our tables were all shaped like teacups!
The walls were painted with characters from Alice and the background was painted to make it feel like the Cheshire Cat was wrapped around us. It was the coolest club evah. The bar was lucite and had fishes in it.
Oh. My. God. Did we party that night? Yes we did. At some point in the early morning hours, after many a cocktail and gelato spiked with lemon or lavender vodka (which is SO FRICKIN GOOD!) I found myself a top one of those tables singing along with The Boss at the top of my lungs. And that my friends was my first Karaoke experience. Of course in 1985 we just called that drunk :)
Tomorrow we hit Rome, home of the Papal Seat and the I supposed the rest of the Pope as well. And ooooooo....we will have DRAMZ!
Now get up and shake it. It's patriotic, dammit. Oh and for the record, STILL as pure as driven snow.
So where were we? On a bus to Florence!
And Starr had a new seat mate. Ooh La La! Wait that's French and we are in Italy. Whatever. Florence is of course in Tuscany. Everything you have ever heard about the beauty of Tuscany didn't come close to doing it justice. It even diverted me from The Hot Florida Boy.
We rolled on into Florence late afternoon and our hotel was located in the old part of Florence by the Piazza Della Signoria. We checked in and then spent the evening outdoors in the Piazza while the sun set.
About 10 of us had dinner at an outdoor cafe right by the famous statue of Neptune. This would become a tradition of sorts. The tour costs included a continental breakfast, we were on our own for lunch, and dinner was usually something ...interesting. Like Mystery Meat. So a group of us started a night tradition of going to some outdoor cafe every night after our EF sanctioned feedbag torture was over. Oh I should mention, the reason you don't hear about our chaperones much is cause those adults were bigger boozers than we were!
I, of course, was being wined and dined by Hot Florida Boy. Our bus ride into Florence had proved interesting. Turns out we have the same birthday. Not only that, we were born at the exact same time. We had birth certificates to prove it. Of course Hot Florida Boy and a is 2 years older than me so I was informed that I had to ride "shotgun" on the date. Cause he was an Aquariansmartass like that. Honestly though we both found the birthday coincident to be pretty freaky. We spent the day talking music and books.
John - aka HFB - was a huge Rush fan. I was NOT a huge Rush fan. I know some of you are going, "Huh?! But Starr didn't you go see Rush in Concert just last summer?!?!" and you would be right. See the Boyfriend J and the "Friend" T were both HUGE Rush Fans. But the first Rush song I ever heard was The Trees. I fucking hate that song. I STILL hate that song. And those two knew it and so that is what they always played.
So I refused to listen to Rush. John, however, told me I was fucked in the head (those Southern manners I talked about earlier evidently not present during this convo) and that I would love Rush if I would just get off my high horse. Yeah he said that. And lived. Did I mention he was gorgeous? And gave me Gummy Bears? (Freaky! VH1 Classic is playing Tom Sawyer as I type!)
And, well, yeah......I loved Rush. Moving Pictures makes me grin to this day.
Our first full day in Florence we of course spent visiting all the must see monuments. And that afternoon us girls got to go worship to OUR Gods. The Gods of Shopping!
And I think the ladies will agree with me that highest in that echelon is
The God Of Shoes
Shoes, and purses, and hats OH MY!
That night after a group spaghetti feast at the same outdoor cafe, we headed out for a night on the town at a local disco. Interesting thing about Italy. There were a TON of cops/soldiers around. It was kinda freaky. Remember this detail. It comes back to haunt us in Rome.
The disco was the coolest freaking dance club I have ever been to in my life on any continent. It had 2 floors, the second being primarily a balcony setting. And the decor? Alice In Wonderland! Our tables were all shaped like teacups!
The walls were painted with characters from Alice and the background was painted to make it feel like the Cheshire Cat was wrapped around us. It was the coolest club evah. The bar was lucite and had fishes in it.
Oh. My. God. Did we party that night? Yes we did. At some point in the early morning hours, after many a cocktail and gelato spiked with lemon or lavender vodka (which is SO FRICKIN GOOD!) I found myself a top one of those tables singing along with The Boss at the top of my lungs. And that my friends was my first Karaoke experience. Of course in 1985 we just called that drunk :)
Tomorrow we hit Rome, home of the Papal Seat and the I supposed the rest of the Pope as well. And ooooooo....we will have DRAMZ!
Now get up and shake it. It's patriotic, dammit. Oh and for the record, STILL as pure as driven snow.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Why The Sea On The Tide Has No Way Of Turning
So is everyone ready for Part 3 of the Euro Trash Girl Tour? There is no Inter-species erotica in this one. Just lotsa pasta, gondoliers, Grappa, and pick up lines. Yes, my pretties, I will finally share my UBER PICK UP LINE. The one that vanquished, drunken stumbles and Flight of the Bumble Swan moments. Mostly though this is my love letter to Venice.
We headed out of Paris and hit Lyons for a day. Frankly I have a limited recollection of Lyons. I know we stopped for lunch at an outdoor cafe. I know they had Kronenbourg. I know we had a great time and ran round this castle with a huge line of trees. Other than that? Not much. The Hot Florida Boy and I were continuing our ridiculous eyeball flirtation. We *had* progressed to group conversation between his side of the aisle and mine. I know, I am such a hussy.
It was a long day, I remember that. We finally hit the coast and boarded a water taxi for our trip into Venice. We arrived at Sunset. It was truly awe inspiring. There were many beautiful places I visited in Europe. Venice was the only one -the ONLY one - that lived up to the dream I had of it. Venice is, simply, the most beautiful place I have ever been.
I loved Venice. I pretty much ditched the tour guide group experience and spent two days in Venice wandering on my own. I had the most wonderful lunch on a pier that jutted out into the lagoon. I hit Harry's Bar and tried not to hold Hemingway against them.
I fed the pigeons in St Mark's Square and had a lemon ice on one of the chaise lounges set up there. I visited the Cathedral at St. Marks and several smaller churches. The water lines from a 1000 years of flooding make the bricks look like wood rings.
Being a brunette I didn't have many issues being hit on like the blonds in our party. Cause I look Italian. The locals were very friendly and welcoming. They hooked me up pretty darn good as well. The waiter at Harry's gave me Grappa and fettuccine for free. It's the dimples. In my youth, I could work them like a stripper works a pole.
I got a gorgeous set of hand blown shot glasses at the glass factory in St Marks. They made them right in front of me. I carried those babies wrapped up inside 3 pairs of tube socks in my suitcase for the rest of my trip. The socks were graciously given to me by The Hot Florida Boy I might add. Told you my dimples were the win.
Venice was my vacation within a vacation. I got to be all Sophia Loren and drink red wine while wearing oversized sunglasses and a white scarf while listening to Roxy Music being played on a street artists boom box. Once again it was a perfect movie moment.
I had my very own gondola ride, and my gondolier (who's name was Markus) sang La Traviata to me. I toured San Michele Cemetery and the Doge's Palace. I did it all by myself and those two days were about the most perfect I have ever spent. Leaving Venice was pretty darn hard.
But I forced myself on the bus. Feeling pretty peppy and still channeling my Inner Sophia I decided to grab zee bull by zee horn.
You perverts :P
Are you ready for the pick up line? Are ya? We are on the bus. Each with our usual seatmate. Drunken Jimbo for me, Goofy Jeff for him. They have gummy bears. They are doing perverted things to those gummy bears. It was my first brush with the Gummy Sutra.
Finally I stood up and went and sat in the seats in front of the two Hot Florida Boys. Leaning on the seat back and staring right at Hot Florida Boy. And I said...are you ready for it....ya sure? Alrighty then,
Starr "Hi"
Hot Florida Boy "Hi back"
Starr "You are gonna give me those Gummy Bears."
Hot Florida Boy "I am?"
Starr "Yup"
Hot Florida Boy "Yes, I think am"
Am I not MADE OF AWESOME!!
Needless to say we swapped seatmates =)
Tomorrow we go to the Land of Shoes and Alice In Wonderland Discos and Drunken Bruce Springsteen Karaoke. In the meantime, I am gonna go pour me a glass of wine and let Brian Ferry sing me to sleep.
We headed out of Paris and hit Lyons for a day. Frankly I have a limited recollection of Lyons. I know we stopped for lunch at an outdoor cafe. I know they had Kronenbourg. I know we had a great time and ran round this castle with a huge line of trees. Other than that? Not much. The Hot Florida Boy and I were continuing our ridiculous eyeball flirtation. We *had* progressed to group conversation between his side of the aisle and mine. I know, I am such a hussy.
It was a long day, I remember that. We finally hit the coast and boarded a water taxi for our trip into Venice. We arrived at Sunset. It was truly awe inspiring. There were many beautiful places I visited in Europe. Venice was the only one -the ONLY one - that lived up to the dream I had of it. Venice is, simply, the most beautiful place I have ever been.
I loved Venice. I pretty much ditched the tour guide group experience and spent two days in Venice wandering on my own. I had the most wonderful lunch on a pier that jutted out into the lagoon. I hit Harry's Bar and tried not to hold Hemingway against them.
I fed the pigeons in St Mark's Square and had a lemon ice on one of the chaise lounges set up there. I visited the Cathedral at St. Marks and several smaller churches. The water lines from a 1000 years of flooding make the bricks look like wood rings.
Being a brunette I didn't have many issues being hit on like the blonds in our party. Cause I look Italian. The locals were very friendly and welcoming. They hooked me up pretty darn good as well. The waiter at Harry's gave me Grappa and fettuccine for free. It's the dimples. In my youth, I could work them like a stripper works a pole.
I got a gorgeous set of hand blown shot glasses at the glass factory in St Marks. They made them right in front of me. I carried those babies wrapped up inside 3 pairs of tube socks in my suitcase for the rest of my trip. The socks were graciously given to me by The Hot Florida Boy I might add. Told you my dimples were the win.
Venice was my vacation within a vacation. I got to be all Sophia Loren and drink red wine while wearing oversized sunglasses and a white scarf while listening to Roxy Music being played on a street artists boom box. Once again it was a perfect movie moment.
I had my very own gondola ride, and my gondolier (who's name was Markus) sang La Traviata to me. I toured San Michele Cemetery and the Doge's Palace. I did it all by myself and those two days were about the most perfect I have ever spent. Leaving Venice was pretty darn hard.
But I forced myself on the bus. Feeling pretty peppy and still channeling my Inner Sophia I decided to grab zee bull by zee horn.
You perverts :P
Are you ready for the pick up line? Are ya? We are on the bus. Each with our usual seatmate. Drunken Jimbo for me, Goofy Jeff for him. They have gummy bears. They are doing perverted things to those gummy bears. It was my first brush with the Gummy Sutra.
Finally I stood up and went and sat in the seats in front of the two Hot Florida Boys. Leaning on the seat back and staring right at Hot Florida Boy. And I said...are you ready for it....ya sure? Alrighty then,
Starr "Hi"
Hot Florida Boy "Hi back"
Starr "You are gonna give me those Gummy Bears."
Hot Florida Boy "I am?"
Starr "Yup"
Hot Florida Boy "Yes, I think am"
Am I not MADE OF AWESOME!!
Needless to say we swapped seatmates =)
Tomorrow we go to the Land of Shoes and Alice In Wonderland Discos and Drunken Bruce Springsteen Karaoke. In the meantime, I am gonna go pour me a glass of wine and let Brian Ferry sing me to sleep.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
What I Really Need To Do Is Find Myself A Brand New Lover
Hi Kiddies! Ready for Part 2 of Starr's European Vacation? Part 1
below for the slackers. You must read it, as there are epic Journey and urination moments within.
We left off yesterday with a bus of happy campers with empty bladders and a song on our lips. That night we rolled on into Lucerne in the Land Of Swiss Miss, Lakes, and Chocolate. Oh and Rolex's.
I liked Switzerland. See that picture above? The row of buildings on the left is where we spent the days sampling the Swiss wears. That lake is also home to the local swans. The fuckers. I loved the chocolate and the cheese and the beer. I did *NOT* like the swans of said lakes that attacked me. Fucking water foul hate me. They just do. They came OUT OF THE WATER just to chase me. Do you know how hard it is to look dignified when being chased by swans?
So let's take a tally now of Starr's Embarrassing Moments In Front of Hot Florida Boy. We have the drunken falling UP the stairs and the screeching Monty Python "Run Away! Run Away!" moment. Choice. My pick line was obviously SO uber it negated all this. We are getting there, Grasshopper. You too shall have my mad skillz soon.
We spent only 1 night in Lucerne, after a day of shopping. The Hot Florida Boy and Rescuer of Drunken Jimbo had an epic shop day. Most of us bought chocolate. He bought a fucking Rolex Mariner and 3 rings for his womens back at home. See he was what you might call filthy stinking rich, mmk? So he is HOT. RICH. AND TRAPPED ON THE SAME BUS WITH ME.
What is the best way to spend One Night In Switzerland? Why with beer and cheese of course! We were all hooked by that point on a French beer called Kronenberg. To this day, that shit is my Holy Grail of beers. So a bunch of us, including poor Jimbo who STILL had a hangover and all of the Hot Florida Boys hung out in the suite M and L and myself shared. We had beer. We had a fondue pot. And we had a balcony. There must have been around 15 of us in that room that night. We built an empty beer can pyramid on our balcony that was over 6 foot high. Oh and the chocolate fondue. That stuff was used for illicit purposes by some very naughty teenagers. But not me, yo, cause I was pure as the driven snow. For now. Yes I know this sounds like a scene out of a Porky's movie. That is cause it was.
Next day on the bus, all of us were suffering post pyramid hangovers. Ouchies. This was rapidly cured by passing around cups of cold cheese fondue (no I am not making this shit up, who could?) and Everclear shots and Orange Juice. Breakfast of Champions. Everyone asks if we had bread when I get to this point in the story. Nope. And I saw that shudder.
My brain was still percolating about Hot Florida Boy. Or maybe it was the Everclear.
Whatever.
And oddly enough I got the feeling that his might just be percolating as well. Although I was having trouble believing that Mister Fucking Movie Star was actually interested in little old me. Seriously, he was not the typical cute boy. He was the 6'1", blond, green eyed, built like a surfer, hugely rich and owner of a totally adorable Southern accent. It was like something out of a John Hughs Movie and I got to be Molly Ringwald.
Let's get back on the bus and hit Francey France Land, shall we? Hans is still driving, Don Ho is still singing, and all of us are still drowning his ass out with A Capella versions of Faithfully and other songs. Including today's Post Title, from the unforgettable Dead Or Alive. And you thought You Spin Me Round (Like A Record) was their only hit. Phht.
That my friends is a rather explosive song to be singing while sitting across the aisle from A Hot Florida Boy. Mind you other than the drunken passed out in the hallway of a German hotel moment we had not really talked. Out loud. We were currently doing that teen aged, intense stare conversations. You know the kind. I'd stare at him, he'd catch me, I'd look down. Role reverse. Rinse and repeat. With the occasional smiles. Jesus, just thinking about it is exhausting.
We arrived in Paris around dinner time. This was to be our first experience with Mystery Meat. We went to some seedy ass place with suspiciously low light. Not sure if it was horse or cat. Looked like chicken. Tasted like ass.
Now let me take a moment to toss out a disclaimer. Our experiences with the French *in the context of our tour planned hotels and restaurants* totally was in keeping with the snotty French stereotype. Then again, the behaviors exhibited by our group were totally in keeping with the Ugly American. C'est La Vie.
The hotel was cool. One of the nicer ones actually. Well to look at. The beds were a mess, the staff hated us, and they were not all that interested in making our stay a pleasant one.
I spent the 4th of July on top of the Eiffel Tower watching Fire Works. That puppy sways, by the way. You can totally feel it moving. Very disconcerting. I went to small cafes and ate REAL French food, I visit the room where Oscar Wilde died and he was right about the wallpaper.
I had Absinthe in a really live Absinthe Bar in the Moulin Rouge district. Hands down one of the best days of my life. Speaking of The Moulin we went to a show there as well. It was a blast. Would have been better if Ewan McGregor was there but hey, ya can't win them all.
The Mona Lisa is pretty frickin small. Really I was totally expecting the size of the painting to be so much bigger. The Louvre was amazing. We got one day and that was totally not enough. Kids outside were selling these mechanical flying pigeons. The real pigeons were not amused.
We rolled on out of France after 3 days. There was, as usual, departing drama. Remember The Hot Florida Boys Amsterdam Heineken Umbrella heist? Well they topped themselves. First off, never ever insult a Southerner. They have better manners than you and they know it. Sit down and shut up my fellow Yankees. They just kick our ass. So our oily innkeeper did something to annoy the Florida contingent. Their response? Dismantle the gigantic wardrobes from about 3 rooms and completely load up the elevator. It was a geometric masterpiece.
And then there was the wee matter of the little "entertainment club" next door to our hotel. Roughly translated from French you could choose your girl and choose your animal. Now this had me totally intrigued. We are not talking your garden variety animals either here, people. Yeah yeah dog and cat and the obligatory horse, but it was the turtle...TURTLE...that got my attention. Inter-species Erotica For The Win! But then...
Stupid Southern Well Mannered "My Mama Would Never Forgive Me" Hot Florida Boys wouldn't let me go in! Mind you THEIR asses went in but I was not allowed cause I was a "lady." And seeing that there were 5 of them and not single bloody one of them was under 6 Foot I was more screwed than the turtle =(
Grr.
I leave you now to ponder quelle est femme and turtles and I give you Dead Or Alive and what I think makes a damn great life moto.
And I just realized I didn't cop the pick up line today. How very Stephenie Meyer Cock Blocky of me!
below for the slackers. You must read it, as there are epic Journey and urination moments within.
We left off yesterday with a bus of happy campers with empty bladders and a song on our lips. That night we rolled on into Lucerne in the Land Of Swiss Miss, Lakes, and Chocolate. Oh and Rolex's.
I liked Switzerland. See that picture above? The row of buildings on the left is where we spent the days sampling the Swiss wears. That lake is also home to the local swans. The fuckers. I loved the chocolate and the cheese and the beer. I did *NOT* like the swans of said lakes that attacked me. Fucking water foul hate me. They just do. They came OUT OF THE WATER just to chase me. Do you know how hard it is to look dignified when being chased by swans?
So let's take a tally now of Starr's Embarrassing Moments In Front of Hot Florida Boy. We have the drunken falling UP the stairs and the screeching Monty Python "Run Away! Run Away!" moment. Choice. My pick line was obviously SO uber it negated all this. We are getting there, Grasshopper. You too shall have my mad skillz soon.
We spent only 1 night in Lucerne, after a day of shopping. The Hot Florida Boy and Rescuer of Drunken Jimbo had an epic shop day. Most of us bought chocolate. He bought a fucking Rolex Mariner and 3 rings for his womens back at home. See he was what you might call filthy stinking rich, mmk? So he is HOT. RICH. AND TRAPPED ON THE SAME BUS WITH ME.
What is the best way to spend One Night In Switzerland? Why with beer and cheese of course! We were all hooked by that point on a French beer called Kronenberg. To this day, that shit is my Holy Grail of beers. So a bunch of us, including poor Jimbo who STILL had a hangover and all of the Hot Florida Boys hung out in the suite M and L and myself shared. We had beer. We had a fondue pot. And we had a balcony. There must have been around 15 of us in that room that night. We built an empty beer can pyramid on our balcony that was over 6 foot high. Oh and the chocolate fondue. That stuff was used for illicit purposes by some very naughty teenagers. But not me, yo, cause I was pure as the driven snow. For now. Yes I know this sounds like a scene out of a Porky's movie. That is cause it was.
Next day on the bus, all of us were suffering post pyramid hangovers. Ouchies. This was rapidly cured by passing around cups of cold cheese fondue (no I am not making this shit up, who could?) and Everclear shots and Orange Juice. Breakfast of Champions. Everyone asks if we had bread when I get to this point in the story. Nope. And I saw that shudder.
My brain was still percolating about Hot Florida Boy. Or maybe it was the Everclear.
Whatever.
And oddly enough I got the feeling that his might just be percolating as well. Although I was having trouble believing that Mister Fucking Movie Star was actually interested in little old me. Seriously, he was not the typical cute boy. He was the 6'1", blond, green eyed, built like a surfer, hugely rich and owner of a totally adorable Southern accent. It was like something out of a John Hughs Movie and I got to be Molly Ringwald.
Let's get back on the bus and hit Francey France Land, shall we? Hans is still driving, Don Ho is still singing, and all of us are still drowning his ass out with A Capella versions of Faithfully and other songs. Including today's Post Title, from the unforgettable Dead Or Alive. And you thought You Spin Me Round (Like A Record) was their only hit. Phht.
That my friends is a rather explosive song to be singing while sitting across the aisle from A Hot Florida Boy. Mind you other than the drunken passed out in the hallway of a German hotel moment we had not really talked. Out loud. We were currently doing that teen aged, intense stare conversations. You know the kind. I'd stare at him, he'd catch me, I'd look down. Role reverse. Rinse and repeat. With the occasional smiles. Jesus, just thinking about it is exhausting.
We arrived in Paris around dinner time. This was to be our first experience with Mystery Meat. We went to some seedy ass place with suspiciously low light. Not sure if it was horse or cat. Looked like chicken. Tasted like ass.
Now let me take a moment to toss out a disclaimer. Our experiences with the French *in the context of our tour planned hotels and restaurants* totally was in keeping with the snotty French stereotype. Then again, the behaviors exhibited by our group were totally in keeping with the Ugly American. C'est La Vie.
The hotel was cool. One of the nicer ones actually. Well to look at. The beds were a mess, the staff hated us, and they were not all that interested in making our stay a pleasant one.
I spent the 4th of July on top of the Eiffel Tower watching Fire Works. That puppy sways, by the way. You can totally feel it moving. Very disconcerting. I went to small cafes and ate REAL French food, I visit the room where Oscar Wilde died and he was right about the wallpaper.
I had Absinthe in a really live Absinthe Bar in the Moulin Rouge district. Hands down one of the best days of my life. Speaking of The Moulin we went to a show there as well. It was a blast. Would have been better if Ewan McGregor was there but hey, ya can't win them all.
The Mona Lisa is pretty frickin small. Really I was totally expecting the size of the painting to be so much bigger. The Louvre was amazing. We got one day and that was totally not enough. Kids outside were selling these mechanical flying pigeons. The real pigeons were not amused.
We rolled on out of France after 3 days. There was, as usual, departing drama. Remember The Hot Florida Boys Amsterdam Heineken Umbrella heist? Well they topped themselves. First off, never ever insult a Southerner. They have better manners than you and they know it. Sit down and shut up my fellow Yankees. They just kick our ass. So our oily innkeeper did something to annoy the Florida contingent. Their response? Dismantle the gigantic wardrobes from about 3 rooms and completely load up the elevator. It was a geometric masterpiece.
And then there was the wee matter of the little "entertainment club" next door to our hotel. Roughly translated from French you could choose your girl and choose your animal. Now this had me totally intrigued. We are not talking your garden variety animals either here, people. Yeah yeah dog and cat and the obligatory horse, but it was the turtle...TURTLE...that got my attention. Inter-species Erotica For The Win! But then...
Stupid Southern Well Mannered "My Mama Would Never Forgive Me" Hot Florida Boys wouldn't let me go in! Mind you THEIR asses went in but I was not allowed cause I was a "lady." And seeing that there were 5 of them and not single bloody one of them was under 6 Foot I was more screwed than the turtle =(
Grr.
I leave you now to ponder quelle est femme and turtles and I give you Dead Or Alive and what I think makes a damn great life moto.
And I just realized I didn't cop the pick up line today. How very Stephenie Meyer Cock Blocky of me!
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