Well I Never Pray But Tonight I'm On My Knees

Loooooong day. My bred to the bone Greek work ethic is screaming at me to stay and get work done. The sane portion of me that is sick and tired of being taken for granted and FLAT OUT IGNORED is telling me to get my fat white ass home.

Seriously, that is not PMS talking. I once had an urgent question that needed an answer that would change how I did my job. I emailed the boss about it for 3 months. Finally threw in the towel and just went on doing my work the old way. 18 months later, the issue rears it's ugly head again, and yes, she seemed surprised to find that she had NOT taken care of it.

Sigh. I love my boss as a person, and I think bar hopping with her would be a blast, but she makes the baby jesus cry as a manager.

Think Fast! I'm about to digress. Or change subject matter.Meh.

OMFG! What is up with the total lack of older (Jesus, I just labeled myself "older" by proxy) goth types? Did they all pull a hippy boomer and go corporate? I spent some time perusing the boards over at gothic.net the last two days. These lambkins were all born in the 80's. The LATE 80's! I know we people in black adore cobwebs and all but damn that makes me feel creeky and old.

"In my day, we had to walk 12 miles to The Batcave in snow storms with no socks!"

Ahem.

Shit, now I want a clove cigarette. You know how long it has been since I have had one? It was last century, put it that way. Which makes me feel old again.

The problem, of course, is that I am not old enough. I want to be old enough to be retired. Old enough to say outrageous things in public and be forgiven. Currently, I say outrageous things in public and am NOT forgiven. Change would do me good.

I am going all bucolic this weekend. Spending the weekend up in the Gorge with the Pater and Mater Familis. And kiddobean. If Dad tries to make me hike, I am gonna have to get medievil on his ass. I intend to take my cd's and a boombox. I shall sit outside on the large stone patio and read, drink coffee, and listen to music.

Note to self, must buy apples. One of the women I work with came back from Hood River this week with apples the size of a newborns head. And they were to die for. Kiddobean and I sliced it and made caramel sauce and did the dip with it. Must buy.

So You Can't See Me.. No, Not At All

Go on Jump to the left.

Well of course I am.

I was Magenta with a french maid outfit, feather duster, and once even a blow dryer. Kiddo is literally climbing the walls to go see a midnight show. Sucks that they changed the theater it plays at here in PDX to a bar/movie theater. Now I can't take her until she is 21. Unless we road trip to Washington State. Which, yes, I would do. For Rocky? No problemo.

Sucky day. I am flat fucking broke, found out I don't get extended ill unless written off work by a doctor (like I could get my sick ass to a doctor, I could barely care for my kid) and paperwork turned in. So. Fine. Buh Bye 200.00 bucks I was counting on. Going to overdraw ye olde checking account again and the fine folks at WAMU can deal. Would be HELPFUL if the ex (husband variety) paid his childsupport and his half of the back to school expences. He's at 227.00 right now and count. Gonna be 377.00 come Monday.

Did I mention he works at Intel? And NOT as a lowly dweeb?

Grr.

What's Up Pussy Cat?

You Should Have Seen That Sunrise

Whew. I am having a day. Got a headache. Got a serious case of the cranky, foot-stomping "I don't wanna" going on here. And I am not really DOING anything! Bleh.

Went surfing the web for a bit and felt I should compensate for my lack of post for 6 days(!) by shooting for two today. Only thing I will probably shoot is myself. In the foot. Oh the pressure!

Jesus I whine a lot :p

I have a new Rolling Stone waiting on me at home. I just have a grocery store and helping small child with 2 days of homework standing between me and it. And that thing they call dinner that you are supposed to provide your progeny.

I did catch Monday Night Football with U2 and Green Day. They were fun together. The game was awesome, but I felt like a traitor cheering against the Falcons. But it was the right thing to do, cause the Saints need deserved to have that night. Kiddobean and I were both like, "whoa" when they started playing Wake Me Up When September Ends and the guitarist was Edge. It was weird! Fun but weird. They need to do a co-headliner tour where they both play 2 hour shows. Save me the arena parking guys!

Going to the Foo Foo house this weekend in the woods. I am already making alarmed noises about my father's proposed "short hike." My dad has NO CLUE what a short hike is. He is going to Ecuador in January to climb mountains. He has totally lost touch with the reality of a "short hike." I live in fear. Once he took my kid and her dad on a "short hike" and the ex began to call him "Paul Pot" afterwards and making comments on the Bataan Death Trail he was dragged on. And I am on the ex's side her. That should put it in perspective.

Project Runway tonight!

Alrighty, off to kick my printer and hurt my foot. Yes that is what will happen and yes, knowing this, I will still kick said printer.

Old dog, no new tricks.

PS - By old dog, yes I am acknowledging my inner bitch.

PSS - I heard the new Rockstar Supernova song today. They made Lucas stop singing like he was practicing genital torture. It was good. I hate myself for liking it.

Call Me Sally Fields!

You like me! A very big thank you to The Thinker over at Theory of Thought for my 3rd place award in her So You Think You Can Blog? contest. Having read the other folks who entered, I am quite surprised and pleased to have received this. And go read her blog, people. This girl has the it factor in spades.

Had a lovely weekend and did not work at all. As you can tell by the fact that I was incogblogo all weekend. Went to see John Mayer and Sheryl Crow at the Ampitheater in Ridgefield, Wa and it was awesome. I love Sheryl, Globe sessions was my divorce album. And I have loved John Mayer going back to seeing him in 2001 before he was THE John Mayer. He's smart, sarcastic, gorgeous and he has talent. The best part was watching the teeny boppers get all confused at his concert. It was heavly blues leaning and man o man they all looked like confused pigeons. He didn't play Wonderland which is just fine by me. Prolly broke their lil hearts.

So Monday I am off with a headache and a flat tire. Fun. Tuesday I am off cause kiddobean has tummy troubles. Woke me up at 3 in the morning. Urgh. She is better now, and at school.

I am being bad and bloggin as my computer application is off limits while they reboot it. Not that it will help much, my system is like being on a 26k back in 1997. Oh and they screwed up my paycheck AGAIN!

Grrr. Anyhow back to work. Go read The Thinker right now. Go on...shoo!

Cheesy? Yes. Dead On? Yes

Where Real Life And Dreams Collide

"Going Bamboo." What is it? An old term used to describe British military or East Indian Co employees who spent so much time in Indonesia, India, and Malaysia that they never went back home.

Currently, I am mentally "going bamboo." If I could swap jobs with Anthony Bourdain, I'd do it in an instant. I want to be a traveler, not a tourist. And if I were never cold again, I'd be a hella happy camper.



I think I am an Ex-Pat at heart. I know I know, "America! Love it or Leave it!" etc etc etc. Not dissing the US of A, just saying that maybe This Land and I are not sympatico. I have already accepted that I was born in the completely wrong time period. So why not add country to that.

Actually that last part is not true. I'd rather have my current life experiences and just go elsewhere.

Sigh...Just look at this!


A girl can dream, right? And for the record, the above photos are of Indonesia. Bali and Java to be specific.

What's The Story, Morning Glory?

*NOEL GALLAGHER is sick of giving interviews and blames his brother for
shirking his share of the OASIS-promoting duties. "Because I'm so
eloquent and Liam is the opposite of it -- whatever that is -- I always get
nominated to do all the press interviews," he told MTV. "I'm working
from 11 in the morning till four in the morning and it's a pain in the
arse for me. He gets to walk around in stupid clothes, swearing and
getting pissed." (Oasis' best-of compilation "Stop the Clocks" is due on
November 20th in the U.K., with a U.S. release date TBA.)


Good to see Noel has not changed.

And what the heck are the chances of my favorite band (U2) and the kidlet's favorite band (Green Day) actually recording together? And playing is just way too much for my small brain to take in. Gonna have to record that one. The kidlet and I were just blown away. Now if only they would go out on a tour together. I know I know...want in one hand piss in the other and see which gets wet first.

Outta here for the day. Wheeee!!!!!!!!!!

Black Celebration, I'll Drink To That

So the kidlet and I have gone hog wild looking at Halloween appropriate gothic clothing. I could go broke! BROKE! I want a cape, dammit! Like my old one. Velvet, lined with watered silk. *sniff*

Seriously, gorgeous clothes. Totally impractical but fun as hell to look at. I love Halloween. It is easily my favorite holiday. Don't get me wrong, Christmas is lovely and I adore my Christmas tree. But Halloween has my black little heart firmly in it's clutch. I have the full on Halloween booklist and movie sets that must be read/watched during the month of October. Not the first part of the month. It's not quite the season until around the 15th or so.

Of course, you just can't do the Halloween theme without the grand-daddy of all gothic novels, Bram Stoker's Dracula. That is just a given. Love that book. The format it is written in, using diary entries, journals, newspaper clippings, etc, works so well. It really gives the imagination a chance to fill in the details.

After Bram, I read my Phil Rickman books. I love him. Good old fashioned, celtic gothic horror stories. I have never tried his mysteries, but Curfew, Crybbe, December, Candlenight, and Man In the Moss are awesome.

The Woman In White by Wilkie Collins another classic ghost story, and Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier are two other must read for the month.

For my viewing pleasure I usually overdose myself on whatever bad horror movies are available on On Demand for the month of October, but on Halloween night I must must must watch The Crow.

"Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever."

Amen to that.

Freedom From Choice Is What You Want

Fast quick wham bam blog tonight. Loooong day and I wanna go home. Or be sedated. Or one followed by the other. You get my drift.

Watched Survivor last night to check out the big ole controversy was about. And you know what? After the initial gawk and the groups and the big spiel about the racial divisions, the only time the race issue ever occurred to me is when the contestants brought it up themselves. It would appear that the melanin in your skin counts for Jack and Shit in how you play the game. You had your basic been there done that Survivor routine. Bossy fat guy taking charge. Abercrombie and Fitch boi and girl cuddle to "stay warm", girls gang up on guys and vice verca I am sure had the tables or genital counts been different. Like minded ladies becoming BFF!!!

In other words, people being people.

Ooooh, shit. Now I have People Are People stuck in my head. That is it, I am out of here!

Tonight I'm A Rock -n- Roll Star

So last night was the conclusion of Rockstar Supernova. Lukas. Bleh. Seriously does the world need another band fronted by a guy screeching like his nuts are in a vice? Who in their right mind could consider him a more talented singer than Dilana? My personal opinion is she suffered from Boobage Encumberment. As in..she had boobs. And a vagina. Oh no. Not the vajayjay!

Cynical, I know. However we are now 2 and 0 for guys on Rockstar. With INXS I could see going with a guy because they were an established band who's lead singer was a guy. The fact that they picked an Elvis impersonator who became a Hutch impersonator is a whole nother issue. I like their song Dirty Vegas and the latest Afterglow. I hate myself for it but what can ya do. Sorry Michael =(

With this band, they didn't have that past history. Unless we are looking at the lead singers of the bands the guys are known for. And I don't think Lukas wants that cause frankly he is so far from the league of James Hetfield or Axl Rose. Hell even Vince Neil should have him running scared.

So I am sticking to my prior snarky comment. If it has a tit, it will not fit.

Moving on to Project Runway. I have to admit, Laura had that one hands down. It was the only dress I would have worn. Love ya Jeffrey but that thing looked like something pulled out of Madonna's garbage disposal circa 1984. Unlike this shirt which I absofuckinglutely adore.

Don't get me started on the Tim Gunn bobblehead they also have for sale. I loves it. I loves all bobbleheads. I have a Shakespeare and Betty Boop. I am easily amused.

Michael's was nice too. Very clean and sophisticated. And Kors is right, he does a head to toe look better than anyone there.

Unlike the two returning "special guest" designers. I am with Kayne here. Cockroaches. Did we really need to have the nut job and the dork back? Did anyone really miss Angela's little flower appellation?

So we get another bland thing ala Vincent with that cheesy wrapper. And Angela. What was that thing?! That looked like something out of Ziggy Stardust's garbage disposal. Where the Zigster put it cause he knows crap when he sees it. And I am sick to death of Uli and her friggin 70's inspired, "let's all go on macrobiotic diets and smoke a lot of pot!" tropical caftan things. Enough already. I'd rather look at Kayne's trashy pageant drag queen apparel

The auction is up and running. Quick! Act now, and the Zigster outfit could be yours!!

And now, off to subway for chow.

They've Forgotten The Message And Worship The Creed

So was this a fun week on TV or what. Or two weeks I suppose. What with Katrina and of course 9/11. Mighty hard to feel optimistic about the human race at times.

I watched When The Levees Broke on HBO on the 3rd. Just in time for the anniversary. I was sick last year at the approximately the same time and got to watch Katrina unfold pretty much 24/7 from the get go. I can honestly say I do not think I have ever been more furious in my life. Watching the presidential photo ops, Barbara Bush's considered opinion that the Houston Astrodome represented some sort of step up for these people. What kind of fucking idiot would even begin to think that? And the word refugee. That just fried me. As one guy so eloquently put it in the show, did their citizenship get washed away as well as their homes?

The long and short of it is, by the end of the show, I was profoundly pissed. Then profoundly embarrassed to be white. Which in turn made me even MORE pissed off. I'll go on record here as saying God Bless both Kanye West and the guy who told Cheney to fuck off during Dick's photo op.

It's enough to make you want to spit to try to get rid of the bad taste in your mouth.

Which of course brings us to 9/11. The sad thing about the whole war on terror, is that there will always be fanatics. Be they Muslims who fly planes or Christians who drag people behind trucks and crucify them for being gay. Cut the head off the hydra and their children will remember.

Makes it seem pointless to try to make the world a better place doesn't it? My take on that is we live as a collective, but in the end we are judged as an individual. And the God I believe in isn't short of cash or into war.

Alrighty. Rant over. Been hanging on to that for a week now.

Oy Vey

The Flu. Influenza. Joy. I am just now back to work. Had small child all week and it was the first week of school. Not a good recipe. Mamasan could not help as she is down for the count with a bulging disc. Going to be broke as a joke for the next month. Happy dance =(

It's The End Of The World As We Know It, And I Feel Fine

**Update for Bestest Carnival**
With the theme this time around being "embarrassment" this is the post that immediately popped into my mind. Why? Read it. If this is how your mind worked, would you really want to publish that fact? Kidlet calls this the "Crazy Mama" post!

I have crawled out from under my rock. I had to leave early on Friday as it occurred to me that if I didn't I might just fall out of my chair. Nothing like a temp of 102 to make a girl feel her best. Got myself home, and ya know what? I don't really remember doing it! That is never a good sign. Crashed on the couch and slept until 6ish. Scrounged in the medicine cabinet and food me some of that sudafed PE crap. Friggin methheads have really screwed us. Paying a 15 buck copay on the real sudafed is just not cool.

So Friday night I watched Decades Rock with Skynyrd and Co. "Co" being Bocephus, Three Doors Down, and Bo Bice. Damn good show. Love me some Skynyrd. And Bo Bice is the shiznitz, I don't care what all those Idol haters say.

Talk about your dichotomy, though. Hell, an oxymoron even. My two favorite types of music? British Pop (all it's incarnations from house to goth to punk to new wave) and Southern Rock. Could there be a bigger gap? Perhaps what that tells me is I need a nice Southern Goth boi. Preferably not from the Poppy Z. Brite page of Southern Goth Boi. They have a tendency to not bat for my team.

So Saturday I wake up still thinking I will be hauling my ass in here to the office. I think the fever brought on that delusion. I dragged ass to the store to get more cold meds and food and I had to come home and nap after a 20 minute trip out of the house. Watched more television in a fevered haze. Learned a few things:

1. Never watch Serendipity on or around the anniversary of a break up. (The Calvin wearing ex BF variety.) For that matter, I am pretty well positive that most John Cusack movies should be viewed with extreme caution at times like that. If you are in a truly self punishing mood, bring on Say Anything and beat yourself over the head with Lloyd Dobler. I must like myself a teeny bit as I didn't give into that temptation.

2. Never weigh yourself when you are sick, feverish, depressed, and have just watched a John Cusack movie on or around a break up anniversary. I know I am in my Fat Brando phase due to being too stupid to date, but I might just have gone overboard. The added bonus of rendering yourself nearly invisible aside, it is probably not the healthiest thing I could be doing for myself. Kinda like smoking with a cold. (yeah yeah, I KNOW! I am a retard.)

3. John Cusack is the perfect man. Or at least he has played all facets of the perfect man. Even his assholes (Rob in High Fidelity for example) are attractive and even lovable in their own way. At the very least they are self aware enough to know they are assholes and try to improve. And they are EMPLOYED!

Excuse that last digression.

4. Miss Holly Golightly is Scarlett O'Hara without balls.

5. The song Moon River will totally stick in your head unless replaced by something equally as compelling. Like my title song inspiration.

6. A Big Mac tastes awful when you are sick. Which just seems so very wrong somehow.

7. She Wants Revenge really really sucks ass. This I knew before but being forced to endure them on tv when I felt like death warmed over simply reinforced this belief. I hope Ian Curtis comes back from the dead and clubs them till they are jello.

8. Two hours here have worn me out. Which sucks, I wanted to surf z'net but I think I am gonna have to head back to surfing z'couch.

Oh...Just Like Heaven. Me loves this song. Sometimes I want to hug my radio, ya know?

You Know How Hard It Is For Me To Shake The Disease

I have a cold. Or the beginnings of one. Started yesterday with the sore throat of doom. Which is still here today. Bleh. And it's a long un today. 10 hours. Tomorrow, 10 hours. I am SO NOT WORKING on Sunday and Monday.

Later if I am concious. Going to take my advil which I occasionally remember on my own.