All The Worlds Indeed A Stage And We Are Merely Players

....In a John Hughes Movie! Welcome back to another day another country and Starr's Eurotrash Girl Vacation. We get all PG-13 today which should thrill those in the peanut gallery who have been questioning my purity thus far.

*raises eyebrows*

Really, this is Starr we are talking about. Did y'all think I'd go and lose my virginity someplace as mundane as a hotel room? Where's the future blog post in that?!

There isn't one.

So let's roll back the time machine and head to Italy again in 1985. After our lovely interlude with the Fruit Loops and Mafia we were all feeling a might bit subdued. To put it mildly. We were down two chaperones, and the only two who actually gave a shit I might add, and 3 of our Hot Florida Boys. That last part pissed off the female population to NO end. Including one particularly clingy freshman with John fixation. She was like a friggin cocklebur. Tres Annoying. Not that there was anything of interest going on yet. Mr.. HFB was annoyingly good like that. Seriously! I was obviously going to have to be a slut and throw myself at him.

But not that morning as we rolled out of Rome. We were all a might bummed and we were heading to Pompeii.



Not really what you would call a spirit lifting destination. Fascinating. Very very sad. Not as bad as Dachau though. Dachau was a horribly intense place to go. But seeing those people frozen in ash was decidedly creepy in an existentialist "what is the meaning of life?" way.

After Pompeii we hit the seaport town of Brindisi. Here we bid a fond farewell *snort* to our Porcine Hans the Bus Drive. And Don Fucking Ho with the quickness with which said Hans committed hit and run. For the record he hit 3 cars during our stay. Never stopped for one. Nada.



Our boat was so not a carnival cruise. Although I would bet that a fair amount of the crew had done it in the ear before ala Iggy Pop. And I say that cause they looked a bit unkempt, NOT because they were Greeks. But they were. And we are a kinky bunch.



It was a quick trip, just over night until we hit Patras, Greece. And the Southern manners were back in effect. And apparently this meant minding my virtue. Seriously not a single move had been made on me. It was starting to frustrate me just a wee bit and I was having none of that.

We all had dinner and then HFB and I decamped to the deck of the boat to chill and listen to Rush. I had my game plan. I figured I was a girl, he was a guy, and guys never say no, right? Toss in a few Aegean beers and my dimples and more than few strongly dropped hints and I finally coerced his polite ass into a lifeboat. Pretty much by force.

No really. I pretty much pushed his chair over into one. Cause I was a hussy like that ya know :P




Best part? emerging from under a tarp in said life boat to a round of applause from 10 drunk Greek sailors. I did what any girl would do at moment like that.

I curtsied and yelled Opa!

They clapped even more and sent us down a six pack of beer.

We got into Patras the next morning and checked into our hotel and it was really nice! BIG huge rooms with balcony and a gorgeous sea view. It was a free day. We hit the beach and went parasailing. Which was a blast and scary as shit. We wandered around the town and at dinner we all headed out to local taverna.





Once there I let the locals know I was Greek and we promptly got the GOOD Metaxas. And then I proceeded initiate the Ouzo virgins and then put them under the table. Good times, people.



Tomorrow we wrap up Greece with a desecration of an ancient Greek monument, pink caterpillars and a surprising question.

Take us home, Geddy!