Why The Sea On The Tide Has No Way Of Turning

So is everyone ready for Part 3 of the Euro Trash Girl Tour? There is no Inter-species erotica in this one. Just lotsa pasta, gondoliers, Grappa, and pick up lines. Yes, my pretties, I will finally share my UBER PICK UP LINE. The one that vanquished, drunken stumbles and Flight of the Bumble Swan moments. Mostly though this is my love letter to Venice.

We headed out of Paris and hit Lyons for a day. Frankly I have a limited recollection of Lyons. I know we stopped for lunch at an outdoor cafe. I know they had Kronenbourg. I know we had a great time and ran round this castle with a huge line of trees. Other than that? Not much. The Hot Florida Boy and I were continuing our ridiculous eyeball flirtation. We *had* progressed to group conversation between his side of the aisle and mine. I know, I am such a hussy.



It was a long day, I remember that. We finally hit the coast and boarded a water taxi for our trip into Venice. We arrived at Sunset. It was truly awe inspiring. There were many beautiful places I visited in Europe. Venice was the only one -the ONLY one - that lived up to the dream I had of it. Venice is, simply, the most beautiful place I have ever been.



I loved Venice. I pretty much ditched the tour guide group experience and spent two days in Venice wandering on my own. I had the most wonderful lunch on a pier that jutted out into the lagoon. I hit Harry's Bar and tried not to hold Hemingway against them.



I fed the pigeons in St Mark's Square and had a lemon ice on one of the chaise lounges set up there. I visited the Cathedral at St. Marks and several smaller churches. The water lines from a 1000 years of flooding make the bricks look like wood rings.




Being a brunette I didn't have many issues being hit on like the blonds in our party. Cause I look Italian. The locals were very friendly and welcoming. They hooked me up pretty darn good as well. The waiter at Harry's gave me Grappa and fettuccine for free. It's the dimples. In my youth, I could work them like a stripper works a pole.

I got a gorgeous set of hand blown shot glasses at the glass factory in St Marks. They made them right in front of me. I carried those babies wrapped up inside 3 pairs of tube socks in my suitcase for the rest of my trip. The socks were graciously given to me by The Hot Florida Boy I might add. Told you my dimples were the win.



Venice was my vacation within a vacation. I got to be all Sophia Loren and drink red wine while wearing oversized sunglasses and a white scarf while listening to Roxy Music being played on a street artists boom box. Once again it was a perfect movie moment.

I had my very own gondola ride, and my gondolier (who's name was Markus) sang La Traviata to me. I toured San Michele Cemetery and the Doge's Palace. I did it all by myself and those two days were about the most perfect I have ever spent. Leaving Venice was pretty darn hard.



But I forced myself on the bus. Feeling pretty peppy and still channeling my Inner Sophia I decided to grab zee bull by zee horn.

You perverts :P

Are you ready for the pick up line? Are ya? We are on the bus. Each with our usual seatmate. Drunken Jimbo for me, Goofy Jeff for him. They have gummy bears. They are doing perverted things to those gummy bears. It was my first brush with the Gummy Sutra.



Finally I stood up and went and sat in the seats in front of the two Hot Florida Boys. Leaning on the seat back and staring right at Hot Florida Boy. And I said...are you ready for it....ya sure? Alrighty then,

Starr "Hi"
Hot Florida Boy "Hi back"
Starr "You are gonna give me those Gummy Bears."
Hot Florida Boy "I am?"
Starr "Yup"
Hot Florida Boy "Yes, I think am"


Am I not MADE OF AWESOME!!

Needless to say we swapped seatmates =)

Tomorrow we go to the Land of Shoes and Alice In Wonderland Discos and Drunken Bruce Springsteen Karaoke. In the meantime, I am gonna go pour me a glass of wine and let Brian Ferry sing me to sleep.